Men are from Carnival! Women are from Holland America!

Before I'm attacked by members of N.O.W. for this title alone, let's be realistic, if only for a moment. I am only half chauvinist. Around our house, I do what I want, but Mrs. Kuki lets me know what it is I want to do. The fact is, men and women are not alike, and both anticipate their cruise vacations in a distinctly different manner.

Through months and months of research-avoidance, and non-collaboration with women, I've come up with a "Kuki" look at the moments of cruise anticipation for each gender.


  • Women have a constant urge to shop.
  • Men are thinking their wives should have plastic surgery to cut up their credit cards.
Sex, Food, and Sand:
  • Women are cursing about not going on a diet months ago in preparation for the trip, afraid there'll be too many bathing beauties aboard.
  • Men are praying there will be.
  • Men are trying to find out if "the game" will be shown on the ship.
  • Women are thinking, if "he" dares to watch "the game," the shops onboard are going to be VERY busy.
  • Women are researching which beaches are best for snorkelling.
  • Men are researching which beaches are topless.
  • Men are wondering how they can get out of dressing for formal nights.
  • Women are wondering how they'll get the men to look decent on formal nights.
  • Women have begun mentally packing, itemizing what to bring along.
  • Men are deciding which pair of shorts will look good after 9 wearings.
  • Women are dreaming about headline entertainment
  • Men are dreaming about their wives being entertaining.
  • Men are thinking about how many entrees and desserts they can order without looking like complete pigs.
  • Women are thinking if they only have one entree, then they can sneak in an extra dessert... and that the men look like pigs already.
  • Women can't wait to play afternoon bingo.
  • Men can't wait for afternoon bingo, so they can nap in peace.
  • Women are imagining moonlit romantic walks on deck, or cuddling on the balcony at sunset.
  • Men are wondering if they'll be awake to see a sunset.
  • Women can't sleep in anticipation of the shopping in St. Thomas.
  • Men can't sleep in fear of the shopping in St. Thomas.

If you've got "anticipatory moments" that come to mind that I may have missed, I invite you to share with them with us add your comments here.

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