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PRE-CRUISE RITUALS

Written by: Kuki

It’s near to the end of October, and Mrs. Kuki and I have just under a week left until we get to cruise again. Time to take a bit of a twisted look at pre-cruise in the Kuki Kingdom.

We’ve been landlocked since early May, so by the time we board the ship it will be just under 6 months since our last cruise. Yes, I know that gap doesn’t garner much sympathy, as many folks would willingly wrestle a mongoose for the ability to cruise twice a year. But, as a cruise writer, it can get difficult to write about cruise ships when sitting on land with the largest body of water nearby being in my bath tub. Also, I’m as badly afflicted with a love to cruise as any other similarly mentally unstable person, so even when I’m on land, there’s not many days that go by where I’m not thinking about cruising.

As we’ve got more cruises under our belts I admit our pre-cruise ritual has changed a bit along the way. We used to have our bags packed at least a month before our sailing date, and we’d need to hire a moving company to get our numerous pieces of luggage to the airport. I remember one trip, we’d left the house, and were on our way to the airport when Mrs. Kuki shrieked that she thought she’d forgot to lock the door on our way out. It was of no concern to me because we had pretty much everything we owned in our bags. And with her pre-cruise pattern of buying no groceries for weeks prior to leaving, even if someone happened to move into our house there wouldn’t be enough food for them to survive longer than 12 hrs.

Even now, after quite a number of cruises, I admit to actually dreaming about our next cruise for a long period of time prior to it; even day dreaming about it.

- I’ve sat out on the patio, and when my next door neighbour comes out on theirs, I ask them where they’re from.
- When I’ve run out of hot water while having a shower, I’ve stepped out, and reached for the telephone and tried to call the Purser’s Desk to complain.
- On more occasions than I care to admit, I’ve been in a shop and handed the staff my “sail & sign” card.
- there was the time I rolled over in bed, showed Mrs. Kuki my Diamond Crown and Anchor membership card and told her I had priority boarding.
- When planning an outing with Mrs. Kuki I’ve asked her if we have to tender, or are we docked – which draws an odd reaction because we’re just going to a friends house to visit.
- There’s been the odd occasion when dinner wasn’t all that great, and service has been slow, and I’ve asked to speak to the Maitre ‘d ……. I got my face slapped, as we were having dinner at home.
- I’ve dreamt that I’m on a cruise, and have met someone and fallen hard, fervently believing I’ve met my future wife… then I wake up next to Mrs. Kuki, who would have to be my future ex-wife if my dream were true. As a result I’ve begun introducing her as my future ex-wife. She doesn’t know why, but she admits she’s looking forward to taking everything I own.

These are all signs of cruise withdrawal hysteria and pre-cruise anxiousness, and all that’s encompassed in my admitted cruise obsession.

There’s others I know are even worse than me. I know people who actually keep a “cruise closet”. These closets are filled with clothing and other items that are never allowed to be used, except on a cruise. They simply sit there waiting to be placed into a suitcase. I know men, who’s cruise closets are filled with loud patterned “Hawaiian shirts” that they wouldn’t dare to wear anywhere, other than on a ship.

Now that we’ve cruised quite a bit, I suppose we’ve got the confidence of believing we know what we’re doing when it comes to packing for our cruise. Often we don’t pack until the night before we leave. Not surprisingly, doing it this way, on the last several cruises we’ve managed to always forget something. When I say we, I guess I really mean HER. Mrs. Kuki does all our packing, and unpacking on the ship. This allows me the freedom to spend an entire cruise playing the “ Where’s my _________” game. It’s actually a great thing to not have any personal responsibility, and blame someone else for anything “we” happen to forget.

I just know there are others out there who are at least our equal in pre-cruise “kukiness”, and to make me feel at least somewhat “normal”, I’d really appreciate it if you’d share your stories with me.

Beginning Monday, Oct. 27th I’ll be posting daily live blogs as Mrs. Kuki and I visit New York City for a couple of pre-cruise nights prior to boarding the NCL Jewel for a 12 night repositioning cruise to Miami. Please come on by my blog during that trip to share the adventures and misadventures (which you know always accompany me). And I hope that from Oct. 27 to Nov. 9th you’ll spend some time each day cruising with me via the blog.
PLEASE do! I need viewers to be paid, and I am otherwise unemployed and have a soon to be renegotiated sub prime loan for a home I could never afford, even when I worked as AD for the CDC while consulting with the FCC and EPA, attempting to get CIA and FBI oversight for the weekend retreats of my senior sales teams at AIG, and I spent my weekends at CSI and MBA classes in an effort to join the DEA and learn to use the entire alphabet, without using whole words.

- A View From The Kuki Side of Cruising -

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Comments

Comment from RayB
Time October 22, 2008 at 6:43 am

Sounds like a personal problem to me Kuki. Like you I don’t pack either. Helen does it all. If we forget something its my fault you know.

All I want to do is have fun cause I am lazy in a way.

Comment from ScurvyDog
Time October 22, 2008 at 7:48 am

Just visited my cruise closet this morning thinking about laying out my best Hawaiian shirts for the trip to NYC. It does seem strange to be taking a coat.

Comment from Paul Motter
Time October 23, 2008 at 1:26 am

what seems strange is cruising at all when Keith Oberman and Greta van Sustren are duking it on on my cable TV, Still, I know I am doing what I must – cruise to my own satisfaction whether a liberal calls it “erratic” or a conservative calls it “socialism” No matter what; I do what I do and love it, politics aside.

I guess it doesn’t matter if McCain is the the admiral or Obama is the new ensign. I will live my life the same way no matter what – right? Yes, life is too short to worry about politics. Give me a cruise any day!

Comment from blazerjan
Time October 23, 2008 at 6:07 am

I am so much on the same page.. day dreaming about our next cruise. Although I am one of those who can’t cruise as often as you. On my last business trip, the flight was getting pretty rough, I just closed my eyes and pretended I was on the ship and the thought of a rocking ship was a lot less scary then a bumpy airplane.

Comment from Kuki
Time October 23, 2008 at 5:47 pm

Paul… but wouldn’t it be great to watch it all on a huge screen pool-side.
Electoral maps 25 ft tall and 20 ft wide :)

Comment from Bill
Time October 23, 2008 at 8:25 pm

Good technique, blazerjan. It always amuses me when frequent flyers tell me they don’t cruise because they would be too scared out on the ocean. I mean, I’m no Tarzan, but I can tread water a lot longer than I can tread air. I need a rocking machine for my bed that mimics the motion of a ship. I especially like the up-down bouncies like Holiday and Fantasy.

Comment from kuki
Time October 26, 2008 at 1:30 pm

Flew yesterday, and landing in Newark was as bumpy a ride as crossing the North Atlantic. At least on a ship I’d have had more than 8 cubic ft of space to edure it in. lol

Comment from Diane
Time October 30, 2008 at 4:30 pm

My brother blames his wife for the following incident: The morning it was time to disembark from their 7-day cruise, my brother had to walk off the ship barefoot because he says his wife packed his shoes. Of course, she says he packed his own shoes in the suitcase that was set in the hall around midnight.

Comment from furluvcats
Time January 15, 2009 at 1:59 pm

OMG..I have a cruise closet!!! I buy clothes STRICTLY for cruises that I wont wear anywhere else!! I loved this blog <3

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