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The World Is Scary, So It’s a Good Time to Cruise

Written by: Kuki

We admittedly live in rather odd times, with continuous bombardment from the media on troubling world and local events;  the all too familiar issuing of Amber Alerts for missing children;, dysfunctional families with issuing leading to tragedies which unfold in the public eye; job loss and other financial factors making a mess of people’s lives, plans and dreams.

These are all serious issues with serious impacts on those directly affected, and indirectly affect all of us. However at the risk of being labelled uncompassionate and certainly politically incorrect this week’s Blog aims for a lighter look at our messed up, fearful world.

After this week’s disappearance of Air France’s flight #447 , rather than scare me further about travel, I’ve decided to create a list of the best reasons for those us who are paranoid about almost everything in life to continue to cruise.

#1 – ship’s don’t fall out of the sky and kill everyone onboard (at least that is the current data found after an extensive Google search on the topic).

#2 – in my research into profiles of the world’s most infamous psychotic mass murderers I found none of them had ever even considered taking a cruise.

#3- in checking actuary tables I found that the chances of an incident of a multiple murder occurring on a cruise ship were .000000001309 to 1.
And the chances of it involving you or your family increase those odds to .000000000000000001310 to 1.

#4 I found that the chances are better that you’ll win a lottery while on a cruise ship (even if you didn’t buy a ticket) than getting caught in the middle of a drive by shooting.

#5- Unlike on land, it’s near to impossible to be moving around a ship, and accidentally turn down a wrong hallway, only to find yourself in an “undesirable neighbourhood”. Some hallways be noisier than others, but you likely won’t find the need to scream for help, or write a note to your family telling them you love them.

#6 – As you make your way to the Buffet Restaurant in the morning, the chances of you coming across a hallway blocked off as a crime scene are incredibly slim. (I thought it happened to me once, but it turned out they were just shampooing the carpet in the area.

#7 – 12.3% of all accidents occur when you are either on your way to the grocery store, shopping in a grocery store, or on your way home from a grocery store. So, it naturally follows that you are 12.3 % safer on a cruise ship because you aren’t involved in any of those activities.

- Granted that replacing grocery shopping with activities such as Swimming with Sting -rays, Sharks, or sliding down Zip Lines may negate the safety benefits of not going grocery shopping , but for this non-scientific study those obviously dangerous activities were not considered pertinent.

#8- I believe in the beneficial therapeutic affect of cruising on the psychological stability of the people onboard. The individual who on land my be on the brink of insanity has their personality suddenly mellowed, and altered forever when asked to dress up and pretend to be Elton John at a talent show.

#9 – I also think there’s one significant advantage many people don’t take into account when deciding if a cruise is financially feasible for them at this time; food. Yes, everyone knows food onboard is pretty much an endless cornucopia of choices. But those whose finances are less than stable, and worried about their ability to buy groceries after the cruise, can really just plan ahead to address the issue.

Bring along several empty duffle bags when you cruise… and empty Tupper-ware containers come in very hand. No one checks your bags when you’re leaving the ship!!
Fill those suckers with enough food stuffs to last you for at least two weeks post cruise. That’s the sort of thing that can save hundreds of dollars on your budget.

#10 – I’ve yet to see an incident of road rage on a cruise ship. The hallways are much to narrow for one scooter to even attempt to pass another. Though I’ve seen some toes crushed as those walking tried to pass scooters when reaching those indented cabin doorways.

- But Don’t Lie! Everyone of us have tried to get in front of the person in the scooter or wheelchair, if we think they are heading to the buffet line! We’ll gladly, hold open a door for them, or hold an elevator… but if we think they’re heading for the buffet… forget it.

Admittedly there are a miniscule number of actual criminal incidents which do occur on cruise ship. However, in comparison to the nature of what goes on back on land I think we can safely say – one good reason to cruise is to feel safer than we do at home.

 At least it makes for one more excuse we can use when people want to know why we’re cruising again.

- A View From the Kuki Side of Cruising -

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Comments

Comment from Trip
Time June 10, 2009 at 7:56 am

This was great! I am getting ready to book myself somewhere, to get me out of my scary place, and get on a safe ship going to Paradise!

Comment from jaxon
Time June 11, 2009 at 11:54 am

cute as can be! Kudos, got a smile from me.

Comment from Thoth
Time June 12, 2009 at 9:05 pm

well stated Kuki !

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