Recommended New Year’s Resolutions
Written by: Kuki
In a few days we’ll all be saying goodbye to 2011 and in an evening full of revelry, nostalgia, and excitement, we’ll be welcoming in the year 2012.
Half the world got married on 11-11-11, and half of those people may still be married on 12-12-12. For those of us married already before 11-11-11, half of us will still be married by 12-12-12. For those who weren’t married before 11-11-11, we can only hope you have the common sense to still be single by 12-12-12. Or if you do get married, we can hope that you at least married for a good reason; money.
Of course, none of that has anything to do with the topic of this Blog; New Year’s resolutions.
It is a fact that 89.4 % of New Year’s resolutions made are broken by Jan. 6; another 9.7% by Feb. 18. With those statistics in my mind (the same place the statistics came from) I am offering a list of highly recommended New Year’s resolutions, which will leave you complete, satisfied, and feeling good about yourself when you break them.
-Resolve to never lie to yourself again- It will make you feel so much better when you resolve to face yourself and your life head on, preparing to take on events in the coming year with a total attachment to their reality.
But, really, everyone lies to themselves; whether it’s about their looks, weight, intellect, friends, fiances, etc. So, when you break your resolution, you’re going to feel so much better about yourself, the fact you didn’t keep your resolution will seem inconsequential, because you’ll feel so much happier.
- Resolve to do something that ticks at least one item from you bucket list.
Being unable to complete this resolution might leave you distressed, unless you combine it with #1, and simply lie to yourself, telling yourself you have plenty of time left to complete every item on your bucket list. You’ll end up very elated knowing you have such a long life, full of adventure, ahead of you.
- Resolve to only use the stairs on your next cruise -
You are going to be so happy when you break this resolution, because when you take the elevator to the lido deck, the extra energy you have enables multiple trips to the buffet. Not to mention the extra exercise you get lifting your fork to your mouth, with varying amounts of weight on the fork. You can end up having a really good workout, breaking out in a sweat, without the nasty effort required to walk up the stairs.
- Resolve to budget better for your next cruise. Making this resoluton will immediately make you feel good because you’ve made yourself a responsible person.
When this resolution is abandoned you’re going to feel so much better (at least temporarily) because you are going to do more, and drink more and have a truly wonderful time… at least the parts you remember. By the time the gravity of the situation, and how much you over-spent comes up, it is likely to be dwarfed by other problems in your life.
- Resolve to never read this Blog again, because the guy writing it is such an idiot.
But, when you come back to read my first Blog of the New Year, you’re going to be very pleased with yourself, because there’s been one area where your good judgement has proven to be valid; you were right about the idiot.
And that gives you something to build on in 2012!
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Posted: December 27th, 2011 under Kuki.