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Things No One Knows About Cruising

Written by: Kuki

Within the pages and archives on CruiseMates one can find almost any information in existence regarding the cruise experience.

Now it’s time to remove the “almost” from that sentence.

I’m about to reveal the things about cruising that no one knew about, until now…

For example, did you know that prior to a new ship entering service, the cruise line gathers the entire crew prior to the ship’s christening and hold a spelling bee? The top four finishers in the spelling bee then compete in an arm wrestling competition. And at the point, the winner is declared Captain.

Their reasoning is the role of the Captain must be handled by someone who is both smart and strong. Actual maritime training is of minimal importance.

Prior to every sailing of every ship a lottery is held on board prior to boarding passengers. Every cabin number is thrown into a giant bin, and 4 cabin numbers are drawn. Those 4 cabins are then pre-determind to not receive their luggage. The Guest Relations department is the only department to remain uninformed about which cabins have been chosen to forgo receiving their luggage.

The purpose of this lottery is solely to provide entertainment for the staff and crew. Over the years they’ve found giving the crew something to laugh about, watching some of the ensuing mayhem, has proven to be an excellent morale builder.

When surveyed most cruise passengers say they cruise for the great food, or the excellent entertainment, or the fabulous destinations. But do you know the real reason? … Regardless of the demographic of any particular sailing there is more sex occurring on a cruise vacation, than any other type of vacation.

During any particular cruise, during monitoring, if they find the rate of sex seems to be falling short , the crew are required to make up the short fall with each other.

In 2015 a new Royal Caribbean ship will be outfitted with the first Liposuction Clinic at sea. However, the most innovative part of this treatment is guests will not be required to remain in the clinic during the procedure. They will be outfitted with specially designed portable units, which will allow them to enjoy dining at buffet, while being mechanically slimmed at the same time.

The “experts” believe that once this program is totally functional fleet wide, the rise in the rates of sexual activity on board will also skyrocket, and as a result, guest’s post cruise satisfaction survey results will skyrocket.

- A View From The Kuki Side of Cruising -

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