“How To Be A Cruiser”- Training Now Available
Written by: Kuki
It is with intense pride we announce the once in a lifetime opportunity to attend a four day seminar designed specifically to make you a qualified cruiser.
Have you ever stepped onto a cruise ship and felt that you simply don’t fit in?
Have you stood around aimlessly, wondering how you are going to find your room?
Have you felt the stress of a waiter hanging over your shoulder, as you feel lost trying to decide what you are going to eat?
Have you called your cabin attendant Captain?
Have you wondered how all the people around you are all having a great time?
Help is now available!
Through four short, yet intense, days of training with me, you’ll never again have to ask yourself, “where is the dining room”.
For only $999 plus airfare and accommodations you will be able to confidently say, “I’ve never been able to drink that much in my life”.
Upon completion of this training you’ll have renewed patience for people who act like idiots, and those who seem to complain about everything.
You will understand full well why you don’t want to use the jacuzzis after they’ve been used by children and old people.
You will have a full understanding of why you should avoid the karaoke lounge, when you can’t sing.
You will know how to ride in tandem down the water slide, on your bellies.
You’ll be trained in the art of allowing people to get out of an elevator, before you get in.
You’ll finally understand that the staff and crew of a ship work 24 hours a day to make your experience a pleasurable one. (And you’ll understand that means collectively, not that each one works 24 hours a day).
You will learn that the most important factor leading to the enjoyment of your cruise is you.
You will come to understand that instead of attending my seminar, you should have spent $999 on a cruise.
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Posted: March 18th, 2014 under Kuki.