Can You Lose Your Cruise Lust
Written by: Kuki
It probably makes perfect sense that I love cruising. For 14 years I’ve been avidly following the industry, and writing about it for CruiseMates.
Like many others who love cruising, almost as soon as I returned from a cruise, I was looking for the next one, if in fact I didn’t already have several more on the books.
Between 1996, and 2012 I’d cruised over 60 times. Yet, perhaps surprisingly, I haven’t sailed on a ship for 2 1/2 years. It’s not that I’ve lost my love of cruising. But over time, circumstances occurred in life, that combined to slowly diminish my lust for cruising.
In 2001, we were in Rome, Italy as a port of call while enjoying a Seabourn cruise, sailing in the Mediterranean (before all ships had internet service for passengers) and we received a message delivered to our cabin telling us that Mrs. Kuki’s mother was seriously ill, and not expected to survive. We very quickly made arrangements to leave the ship before its scheduled departure from Rome, and with Seabourn’s assistance, made arrangements for our flight home. We didn’t make it back in time for Mrs. Kuki to see her mother before she passed, but we were back in time for the funeral.
At the time I thought very little of it. I considered it an anecdotal experience; life and death happens. It doesn’t stop because you are cruising.
Then, in 2008 we, were on a Carnival cruise, off of the coast of Rotan, when I received a call in our cabin, notifying my father had been hospitalized, and might not survive. The ship was going to be in Rotan that day, then there was one more sea day before the end of the cruise. The choice I faced at the time, was to try and fly back home from Rotan, or continue on to the end of the cruise, and return home as planned. After considering the alternatives, and realizing because of the available options for connecting flights from Rotan to home, we would only get home about 6 or 8 hours earlier than if we stayed on the ship, I made the decision to continue on to the end of the cruise.
In the middle of the night, just prior to our scheduled disembarkation, I received the phone call notifying me that my father had passed away.
Though it had been seven years between these incidents, they did have a psychological impact. Subconsciously I began to make excuses not to go on cruises. I did keep cruising, but nowhere near to as frequently as I had been in the past. I thought I was moving on, but in fact there was a barrier to my really enjoying the experience as much as I usually did. My lust was diminishing.
In 2012, while sailing in Hawaii on a Crystal cruise, just prior to leaving the islands before heading to the mainland, I received an email, making me aware my mother had been hospitalized, and was in serious condition. Once again I was faced with the decision of leaving the ship and flying home, or returning to the mainland to fly home immediately. Thankfully, my mother survived that episode, so I wasn’t just coming home for a funeral.
But, in my mind I apparently decided I was not going to go anywhere again that was further than a direct 2 0r 3 hour flight home. I made excuses about not going on cruises. I turned down trips that were writing assignments for CruiseMates. I honestly hadn’t even realized I was doing it, until last summer when friends really wanted us to join them for a river cruise and land trip in Europe. I said I would consider joining them, when Mrs. Kuki finally spoke up and said “you’re not going to go anywhere” while your mother is still alive. And, I had no choice to accept the fact she was right. I had subconsciously made that decision.
From the 2012 incident until just recently my mother’s health continued to worsen, and almost continuously teetered on death. And with it, my lust for cruising.
Recently, my mother succumbed to her illness, and she passed on. I am, of course, still going through the mourning process. But, this time I was there for her when she became ill. I was able to do whatever I could to organize aid, comfort her at the end, and just be with her.
As I go through the mourning process, I do wonder of myself… Maybe now I’ll want to cruise again? There’s no question that I still love cruising. But, I am not sure I have the lust for it that I did. All of the wonderful memories I have from our many cruises, at least for the moment, are being drowned out in my heart by the 3 traumatic memories I’ve spoken of here.
For now there’s no way to know if that will change. I am still grieving the loss of parents. And dealing with the “business of death” (handling the government documentation, legal requirements, and dealing with acting for her estate, etc.) makes it difficult, and extends the grieving process considerably.
I’m certain I still love cruising! Will my lust for cruising return? I don’t know.
I do know once life is somewhat straightened out again, we’ll certainly be getting on another ship to find out.
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Posted: August 5th, 2014 under Kuki.