Originally Posted by Paul Motter
I don't think we are in disagreement at all! All I said was *IF* a person is going a cruise as a solo expecting to meet a lot of new people and make friends then they need a reality check.
As long as you are happy in your solitude and feel comfortable among couples and families then I see no reason to even make it a separate topic. You all are meeting here anyway.
I think it is valuable for the person reading this board for the first time to ablre to see all side of the single cruiser condition in one place. If I made a solo cruiser board then I feel it would be an artificial segmentation of a topic, like if I made separate boards under the cruise lines for couples & families. They all have pretty much the same experiences and can learn from one another.
I also want the singles cruise group enthusiasts to be able to learn something from your solo cruisers about appreciating the solitude and enjoying their own company. I think some guys who go on singles cruise groups sometimes still don't connect with anyone, and they benefit from hearing your thoughts.
I can tell you, when I worked on the Norway there was a singles cruise company that came on at least once/month. I remember talking to one guy in the group - just because he looked so sad - and he admitted to me that he was desperate to meet a lifetime companion and had come on the cruise almost as a "last ditch effort." he said if he didn't meet someone on the cruise he "didn't know what he was going to do."
I felt really sad for him, but not as bad as he felt for himself. Loneliness is a tough emotion to deal with. Some people are much better at it than others, I believe, depending on what stage of life they are in or what they may have recently experienced.
But, if you are a solo cruiser and you regularly meet people on ships, I don't see why you wouldn't want to chat with some of the singles cruisers here - even if they tend to go in groups. It doesn't mean you couldn't meet them onboard if you want to (you just can't go to their activities).
I will respond to this in detail. I am a solo cruiser. I just got back from my first "singles group" cruise last night. This was by far the most isolating experience of all of my cruises. I have met many people on my solo cruisers and made friendships that have lasted years. In fact, on my return yesterday, one of the people I met in May on my solo on the Liberty met me at the dock, picked me up and drove me all around and to several beaches before we had a late lunch and she dropped me back off at the airport. In contrast, I didn't meet any one on this cruise that I would consider contacting after the cruise. There was just not enough comraderie and good times.
I am not on the ship to mate or hook up. I enjoy cruises because of all the colorful array of people that you meet onboard. Since my conversation is so benign and respectful to all, it doesn't really matter a person's marital status, love life situation, family composition or who they got on the ship with. I can sit on the Lido Deck and share a table with anyone and we can enjoy innocent conversation as we people watch and enjoy the activities. The same with the dance club. I know I am returning to my cabin alone so when I dance with a man (or woman), it doesn't matter who they are on the ship with. I am not going to do or say anything that cannot be said in front of their spouse or family. As a result of this, I am always warmly welcome to any table or situation on these ships.
And then there are VTG single cruises . . . . . . .
Simply put, this cruise was all about meet up to hook up. Most of the people in this particular group had no interest in anything other than hooking up. For purposes of socializing, a single person might as well as cruise with a group of honeymooners. Even that may have been an improvement. The majority of these people hooked up on the first night or at least by the second night. Mission accomplished, they had no interest in anyone else in the group other than to parade around like honeymooners in love. The women in these situations were too insecure to allow their chosen mate to socialize naturally in a group setting so most of these couplings would sit off to the side by themselves with a definite "you are not invited to be around us" attitude. The men who found themselves in this position were so pressed to "prove" their "devotion" that they were afraid to talk to any of the other women and were not really given enough breathing room to bond with any of the men for fear of making their "new sweetie" feel bad. The newly coupled women were threatened by any sort of attention paid to other women by their new "Honeys".
Many of the people (women) in this group would only join others long enough to extract their intented target. After that, it was sit off the side because we are a couple now.
I danced a lot with an older gentleman during the first night of the cruise in the dance club. By the second night, when I approached him to dance with me (purely club fun), he informed me he could not dance with me because he was "with someone".
I looked at him and laughed out loud in his face because he had to have been 70 if he was a day. I told him, "You are sleeping with her. You will only get to dance with me!!" He didn't speak to me for the rest of the cruise. Hahahahahahaha
That was the flavor of the group.
By midway through the cruise, most of the men that were not entwined in some woman's web were so shell shocked and skiddish that they were afraid to talk to anyone.
Then came the breakups. What started out as a happy group was corrupted by the unsuccessful coupling that went on and now this person was ducking that person and that person was looking for this person and getting angry at everyone because they think someone else is spending time with their honey which is why they can't find them. It was surreal!!!
There was also a small contingent of women in the group who were just hopping in and out of the bed with a whole collection of different men. And then these same men would hit on another woman and are now afraid that the new woman will find out he is (was) sleeping with the other chick. Therefore, he had to keep his distance for fear that the two women would find out about each other. It was a mess!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, if a man wants to get guaranteed laid on a ship, take a VTG singles cruise. However, you will probably end up with someone well north of 55. If a woman just wants a boyfriend for a week, then this is the way to go and I would suggest you aggressively grab one during the Running of the Bulls (a.k.a The First Meet and Greet).
On the other hand, if a man likes a bit of spontanuity and wants things to progress in a more natural way without any expectations, skip the VTG singles cruise. Also, if he wants to meet someone younger than 60, he would do a lot better solo or in some other type of group cruise. The "available" women in this VTG group were a bit long in the tooth.
Now if these single cruises offer a better price than you can get on your own, go for it. Their activities are fun. However by halfway through the cruise, I pretty much lost interest in attending all but the open bar events because there was just too much tension, drama and not enough comraderie for my taste.
I found my fun bunch outside the group once I stopped trying to participate in "group" stuff.
Simply put, these people were not interested in socially in a group setting. They were ony interested in finding someone they could hook up with and pretend to be a couple, if only for a week.
It was actually a bit sad to watch because the participants were so old and still so very desparate.
In summary, a cruiser who is internet suavy and can compare cruise prices can do much better than all the drama offered by VTG singles cruises.
Side note, this is not the fault of VTG. They tried their darnest to have group fun activities.