I haven't even bothered to read the other posts here. You are in a tizzy over NOTHING.
In 14 cruises I have never waited in line anything like 45 minutes for a buffet on a lido deck. Cruise lines have this stuff down better than anyone. Some have as many as 4
identical buffet lines you can get on (in addition to "specialty areas like burgers, pizza, pasta , deli etc depending on the cruise line).
Just how much smoke do you think you will smell, out doors, at sea on a cruise ship moving at 20 knots? I spent hour upon hour lounging on the balconey on our last cruise
and wouldn't have known if the guy next door had a bon fire going, never mind puffing on a cigarette.
You are stressing over quite silly things (not to trivialize your concerns). Carnival and it's associated cruise lines carry about 7 million passengers a year. Repeat cruisng is something like 80% , maybe more. They get it right a whole lot more than they get it wrong.
Relax Unwind and go on vacation and enjoy yourself.
Oh yes, the chinese food being closed. Maybe it was under renovation. Are you truly going on vacation on a Caribbean cruise to have Chinese take out for lunch???
Do you realize that lunch alternatives included full sit down in the dining room, room service, 50 choices on the buffet (hot and cold), burgers and such, pizza and such, and probably deli as well. (not to mention unlimited softserve icecream). Who cares if the chinese food was open or closed?