I know this is not very specific advice, but over the internet it's hard to give good advice when you don't know the people in person. I think you should hire a wedding planner (we swore we weren't the kind of couple who did that, but it ended up being great) and just get them to take care of all the details. Ours wasn't too expensive, either. We found her on http://www.gatheringguide.com/ec/event_planners.html
- maybe that will help you too. They usually will do a one time consultation if you just want advice. If you do it yourself, good luck!