I must personally disagree with you David and do so most strongly. Thomas Wolfe, even if he was from only about 53 miles from where I now sit, was not all that correct (if you're familiar with him, you'll know to what I am referring).
Although I could be wrong (as I frequently am), I'd have to say I am rather significantly older than you. I am 61. Somewhere between 40 and 50 is generally when those men who are going to have mid life crises, have them. You'll probably be surprised to learn that a whole lot of men are themselves personally secure enough that they don't experience such crises although there certainly is something known as male menopause. Those men who are contented with themselves, who love their wives (or significant others), realize that a man's mid life crisis is often, if not entirely, brought about by his own behavior (or misbehavior as it were).
I returned to the small East Tennessee town in which I grew up and again live among many of the folks who were playmates then and are today even stronger friends. Some were even former girlfriends and all of us are happily married and in most instances, have been for decades.
What you are obviously alluding to David, are adolescent romantic relationships of whatever degree. DId I have them? Of course, everyone does. I certainly didn't have to come back home and rekindle old flames just to see "if I still had it" nor did I ever have the desire to do so. Strange as some find it, I've been very happily married to the same person for over 36 years. I know for a fact there is at least one on these boards who exceeds my Wedding Anniversaries by decades. Not all men stray David, nor do they really ever want to. Do we sometimes, to quote Jimmy Carter, "Lust in our hearts?" Of course we do. But that's where it usually ends.
You'll find as you grow older David that you will progress through the phase to which you're referring, in fact you may be going through it now. We've all been through it and many find as did I that when all is said and done, one can not only go home again and again become close to many with whom they went to school but even end up living the most contented part of their lives after doing so.
I know 'cause I did and I am.