Have any of you ever watched the Dog Whisperer? Cesar Millan is incredible the way he relates to dogs. He proved it over and over again that how we FEEL...these unspoken emotions, can and do affect our relationships within the family 'pack'. One of his famous mantras is, 'Rules, boundaries and limitations'.
If dogs need these RBL's to be balanced, how much more so our children. It's a mistake to think that ALL discipline has to mean punishment...it doesn't. It can include training to obey and respect rules.
Setting 'Rules, establishing Boundaries and Limitations' helps a child to feel stable (or balanced) because they know what is expected of them.
Of course you might think this is too simple a solution to the complex family dynamics and you're right this isn't a Pollyanna cure-all...but really some parents are so busy trying to be friends with their children or LIKE their children they've forgotten what a serious responsibility it is to be a parent. They're afraid to take a firm stand, set boundaries or any limitations.
Thus you have people like us who stand back and watch in horror parents and children on Airlines and cruise ships...We light candles and thank the gods that those kids aren't ours.