My heart goes out to you and your wife and all those whose vacations were lost. This is absolutely entirely unacceptable. You may want to seek legal advice. I wouldn't settle for less than full compensation myself.
Our last with NCL--- and I do mean last--- was quite the disaster as well, but at least we did eventually get to board and we did eventually sail off, just basically lost the first 2 days, first port not docking till late afternoon, throwing everything out of whack. Of course, no compensation, whatsoever, but they still charged 7 days worth of tipping fees x4, go figure. I don't know who they were servicing, but they sure weren't servicing us.
I was promised a call from the supervisor in which I never received. They are really good at ignoring these types of issues and giving us the silent treatment.
I do hope you do succeed in getting a refund, but I honestly don't see it happening without a fight, and that is why I suggest seeking legal advice.
Good luck and thank you for taking the time to post and share.