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Old August 31st, 2011, 11:28 PM
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Thoth Thoth is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Miz-sippy
Posts: 1,604
Lightbulb Misanthrope's theme cruise

There have various theme, Rock N roll, gospel, ext.
What about a misanthrope's themed cruise ?
The line will guarantee that the food will taste like medieval gruel. The gazpacho soup will be cold. The service staff will be rude to every guest. The front desk unable to take "constructive criticism. " none of the crew ain't gunna to speak no good English. The pools will be either salty or smell like chlorine. Public address announcements will be LOUD but never convey any useful information. The shows will be exceptionally boring...even with a live band, 12 dancers, 4 singers, fast music, and special effects. None of the comedians will be funny. The staterooms will be too cold, the public rooms too hot. The ship will deliberately be given a strange smell. Embarkation will be the longest 15 minutes of your life. Debarkation will be muddled. No up-grades...if one books a 1-BB bilge class inside one is stuck with what they paid for.
Children will sail with you simply to take your deck chairs and will be given exclusive rights to the "adults only" hot-tubs.
All the ports of call will just be awful.... Banana republics where they only want your money. Except for tour guides and shop owners, the locals will only be able to speak broken English. Ship sponsored excursions will all be a "rip-off". The line will make sure that there isn't anything to do in these ports anyway.
But the traveler will be vacationing with other misanthropes who share in their misery and thus can form a support group of sorts. Everyone can thus agree to hate each other, hate the cruise-line, hate the experience and agree to return again next year to vent their frustrations.
At least we know how the cruise reviews might go...
PAST TRIPS= Enchanted Capri
Carnival: Inspiration, Legend, Valor, Destiny, Holiday, Triumph, Splendor, Fantasy
HAL: Maasdam twice, Statendam, Oosterdam

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