How about a thread of cruise related top tens (think Letterman style). Here's one from a new book of cruise jokes and limericks:
TOP TEN REASONS YOUR PRE-CRUISE HOTEL CHOICE WAS A BAD ONE
1. The complimentary newspaper has the headline, "DEWEY ELECTED PRESIDENT!"
2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you get close to it.
3. The pictures are not placed for decoration; they're there to cover up bullet holes.
4. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.
5. Only one television channel comes in, and even though the picture is bad, you can tell its you sitting on the bed in your room.
6. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.
7. The City Morgue is located next door for their convenience.
8. Your wake up call is courtesy of a police helicopter.
9. "Park and Cruise" means while you're away locals use your car to cruise the neighborhood, and hopefully park it someplace where you'll find it.
10. Your hotel is featured every night on COPS!.