An Amish farmer is walking through his field when he sees a guy drinking from his pond, scooping up the water with his hand.
The farmer says, "Trinken sie nicht das wasser, die kuhe unddie schweine haben in ihm geschissen," which means, "Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs s__t in it."
The guy shouts back, "I'm an American and a member of the Tea Party, and this, by God, is America. I don't understand your gibberish. Speak English, you moron."
The farmer says, "Use two hands, you'll get more."