Oh, come on momof4, you're completely missing the point, and I think you're doing it intentionally.
If you were invited to a black tie wedding, dinner, or other event, would you think it fine if some people didn't dress? Or would you expect people to honor the request?
Where I live, when I go to such events everyone dresses as requested. The only place it doesn't happen is on ships.
I've never understood why people assume that you can't "relax and have fun" in a tuxedo or nice dress, but that's not really the point.
The point is -- again -- that there are plenty of cruising opportunities for those who wish to stay casual, and -- again -- many of them are quite "upscale" (God, I hate that word). Celebrity doesn't make any secret about it's dress code, and I'm another who wonders why people are so anxious to swim upstream.
I like having options too, but when I go to a baseball game I don't expect to see a football game. They're both games, but they're different. Cruising's like that. No one line can be, or should be, all things to all people. The point is, I make these kinds of fundamental choices before I go, not after I get there.
It seems to work out better that way.