I need some hugs. Last Thursday afternoon I got a call from my brother who lives in Flagstaff that our 90 year old mother had all of a sudden gone downhill, and, practically overnight, she was on her deathbed.
I hurried up to Flagstaff and was able to spend some time sitting by her beside, stroking her hair, her face, and her hands. I talked to her, reminisced about our family life while I was growing up, and let her know that she had been the best Mom ever, and it was OK to relax and let go when she was ready.
She left us, peacefully, on Saturday morning about 11:30. I am holding up OK, but the sadness just hangs over me. I wouldn't have wanted her to linger and suffer, but I am really, really sad and having a hard time realizing that she is really gone.
Jose and I have had plans for several months to take a 5-day vacation to southern California, leaving this Saturday, the 21st. After discussing it, we have decided to go ahead and go. I know my mom wouldn't want me to sit around and miss out on the trip we had planned, and maybe getting out and being distracted by the activity will help me deal with my sadness.
I know I was very lucky to have had my parents with me until such nice ripe old ages, but it doesn't make the void caused by their absence any less.
Thanks for letting me "cry" on your shoulders.