Jennifer, I don't know if you'll read this or not. First, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my father in l991, and I still think of him often. I was in Minnesota for the last four days and visited his grave.
On Saturday, we celebrated my mother's 97th birthday. She has dementia. I, too, will experience that sadness that you are going through. I felt it as I listened to the dementia that has taken over her mind.
I hope your trip gave you some peace and helped with the mourning process.