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Old January 17th, 2014, 10:12 AM
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momofmeg momofmeg is offline
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Originally Posted by felix_the_cat View Post
What province Kuki? And yes, she would be deported. They would put out the order as stated by Paul until you could move her back up here.

In Canada (I may qualify that a bit and say Ontario) they still can't force someone into a facility. The law is such that no matter what medical treatment you may need, you cannot force it. In your mother's case, it would actually have to be taken to court and a court order issued before anything could be done. However if she/he is a clear danger to themselves or others, there is a 72 hour hold that will have the person committed to hospital. But then they need a court order.
And that is to protect the person with dementia's rights too as too many would be ready to shuffle off a relative before they should be. I know 35 years ago my dad had early Alzheimers, diagnosed at the age of 56 or 57. He was home at first and suddenly got much worse when my sisters took him on a road trip to visit our grandmother, his mother. He had also developed a bladder infection so he had both physical issues and much worse dementia. He had to be flown home and was taken to the veteran hospital as he was a World war II vet.

It was recommended that he stay there in their nursing home/assisted care area but my foolish mom thought it could not have permanently worsened that much that quickly. well she was wrong and Georgia US law took my brother and I both signing into a state facility to be evaluated for a month before he could be put back in assisted care.

It was horrible having to sign him into that place as they treated him like an animal at the Georgia Regional hospital unlike the VA home but I had no choice as my mother could not bear to do it. One of my sisters was only 17 and the other lived 4 hours away and had returned home so my brother and I had to do it. It seemed it meant nothing that the VA hospital had evaluated he was mentally ill enough that he needed to stay there permanently. Georgia law required he be reevaluated.

And you know in his few lucid moments he liked the VA home. He thought he was back in the army. He had spent over 20 years in the military and another 15 in civil service so that was really the best place for him as he was content there.

This is what the VA doctors told us. His being in an unfamiliar place and getting physically sick was too much for him. The doctors told us we should have never taken him on a road trip .

so really perhaps that man should not have taken his wife on a cruise as people with dementia need familiarity to be comfortable. But perhaps this man did not know that. We didn't. We thought dad visiting his mom would be good for him. we were not told until after the fact that we should not have.

I feel when you have a family member with dementia, even mild dementia, that there should be at least 2 family members with them so that they are never left on their own in an unfamiliar place. Knowing what I know from our experience(hindsight I admit) that it is just asking for trouble.

A person with beginning dementia may be okay to be left at home for a bit while you run to the store, etc. but not somewhere they are unfamiliar.
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