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Old December 1st, 2018, 04:16 PM
soulsister soulsister is offline
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Default Wow, thatíd beautiful.

Originally Posted by a_belvita_bar View Post

I'm a 14-year-old boy from a small town in Georgia.
I'm a pretty bright kid, mostly A's, I watch a ton of math and physics related videos.
A Boy Scout, so I have good character.
A gamer too, so that's mostly what I do for fun.
I'm also a very sociable person, I like to talk to people.
This wasn't my first romance. I'd had crushes before, and dealt with denials, not too severe.
Never been on a date.
Not even a kiss.

I went on a cruise to the Caribbean islands for a week on the February break of 2018 (granted my birthday is in May so I was 13 then).
I went with my mother and her work friend and her friend's husband.
Of course, being 13 and not knowing anyone, I was a little nervous, as I found the idea of spending my entire week with only my mother and no internet was repulsive, so I wanted to have some friends to talk to.
My mom tells me about a place where the kids hang out (not little kids mind you)
So, I go, and there's maybe like 12 others in a room with a TV and 2 couches.
I open the door and take 4 steps inside.
I must've looked a little lost I guess because this one girl, comes up to me and says, "Hey."
Now I'm very surprised, because I'm usually the one who has to find someone to try and talk to, and now there's someone standing right in front of me.
I get my **** together and introduce myself.
Her name is Cadence.
And she, is from Canada.
We talk until I have to go for dinner.
The place closes after 4 so I go to bed and chill
And I fall asleep in bed looking forward to tomorrow.

3 important events and some minor events.

(my memory becomes kinda bad from here on out, except for the important events)

Tomorrow comes.
I head back to the place.
We talk some more.
Meet her cousin Sunny.
Sunny hated me for the rest of the trip for some reason??
Keep talking
No dinner
Get bored and hungry

So, I should mention this. I had no romantic interest in her. We just happened to be talking a lot and that was fun. We were friends that really kicked off.

Ask her to grab a burger with me.
She says yes.
Friends. Not a date.

We go.
Its fun.

Go to bed

Tomorrow comes
I head back to the place.
We talk some more.
She tells me they're showing a movie on the deck.
Thus beginning the first important event.
Sounds cool.
Place closes.
Go to movie.
Again, just friends.
Sit/ lay next to each other (it was a pool chair, so it wasn't intimate per se)

They show one of the most romantic movies to this day.

The Notebook

Now I had never actually seen/heard of The Notebook except from a meme.
Never heard the name or the premise. Zero. Zip. Nada.

I realize it is a romantic movie.

Maybe an hour in, it was probably 10:30 so I decided to pull "the move."
So, I pretend to be tired, I stretch my arms up high, and wrap one of them around her.

And she says


We're like that for the rest of the movie, with her head on my shoulder and my head on her head.

Its also very windy, so they handed out towels.

We are wrapped up close together,
With my arm around her.
I'm so happy I can't even pay attention to the movie.

Movie ends.
Go to bed giggling with ecstasy.

Tomorrow comes.
Go to the place.
She finds me.
Takes me into an elevator (it was one of the only private places in the entire ship)
Basically says, "I have someone at home, and I'm really sorry that I lead you on."
She's tearing up.
I'm tearing up.

I go back to room.
Cry for a bit.
Depressed for the rest of the day.
Dammit. Another miss.

Tomorrow comes.
Its one of the few days that I'm off the ship, so we don't see each other.
Look around Puerto Rico for a while. No longer depressed, its all cool.
Get back on ship.

Tomorrow comes.
I decide Im just not gonna talk to her nor be in her presence.
So I avoid the place, walk around with some other friends, it all good.

Walking up one of the staircases, I notice someone is walking down in front of me, so I naturally look up aaaaaaand its her.

We lock eyes for like 2 seconds.

I then turn around and start fast walking away.

She's following me.

I see that she is still following me, so I confront her in an elevator.

She says, "I'm really sorry, but I lied. I don't have someone at home. Can we be cool with each other?"

She's tearing up a bit.
I kinda feel like a dick.

We hug, I say everything is ok.
Elevator opens. She walks away.

I'm giggling again.

Go to bed.

Some other things happen,
We go with some other friends to go see a comedian there.
Get off the ship again.
A times of some days she's with her family, so I do some other things.
Go hang out with some pretty chill older kids (must've been 16 I think).
Play mini golf on the upper deck together.
Skip ahead to the second to last day.

I am in love with this girl.
We hang out the entire day together, having a great day, we even go to midnight just being with each other in one of the least open rooms. An empty piano bar that's not that big of a space.

Gets too late.
Got to bed.

Tomorrow comes.
Its the last day before we dock at Tampa bay to finish the cruise.
We do the same thing.
We try going to the piano bar again, but it has a crowd of people.
Try and find another spot.
Everywhere is too crowded.
So, what we do is we go to the very bottom deck, which is one of quarter floors (one of the floors that has all the rooms).

We talk for a while
We get to a point where I'm up against a wall with her, in each other's arms.

I look her in the eyes.
And I lean in for a kiss.

And she puts her head on my shoulder.

Soooooo, I get really confused,

I'm thinking to myself,
"Did I do something wrong?"
"Everything was going really well. . ."
"Did she realize that was supposed to be a kiss?"

and my mind just kinda goes, "Heeey you know what? How about, we don't think about that for a while? Just keep talking for a while. You contemplate when you're in bed.

That whole mind process happens within a few moments, same moments that I kinda get out her holding and slide down the wall pretending to be tired (its like 2am).

She does the same.

We talk some more.

And then I just . . . I don't even really know, im still thinking about it today.

But I said something that just pushed her over this edge.

I was trying to be romantic . . . and I said something along the lines of:

"Women have so much power these days. I hear about all the riots these feminists are making yet women already have the power to make a man fall head over heels for one of you."

I look over at her, and before she was looking me in the eyes, now its like her eyes don't seem to be focusing on me. I notice some change.

She stands up and starts walking away.

I stand up and try to catch up to her.

When I do, she has her hands on her face, and she's crying very hard. Not necessarily bawling or wailing, bit it is a very intense cry.

She keeps walking away.

I try to stop her, but she just keeps walking away.

Eventually I stop, and all I do is watch her walk away . . .

And that was the last time I saw her in person.

A few days pass, after the cruise and even though she gave me her phone number, we live in separate countries, so that wasn't going to work. Instead I found her on snapchat.

We talked on and off with each other, and one night, I text I the words "I love you" to her late at night. I get a text a few minutes later saying, "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME," and we stopped talking to each other for a while.

We talk more than we did last time. Its great. I'm in love with a girl, and I talk with her and its just . . . awesome.

Then I start to doubt myself.

"She lives in another country"
"We spent a week together"
"Im only 14"

And it just . . . it got too much. I broke up with her. It sucked, I absolutely hated it.
Three weeks passed by and I just missed her too much. I absolutely needed to call her again. I did.

She was in a black tube top dress and she was inside what looked like an incredibly expensive and extravagant hotel.

She told to "not call this number again"

Im completely crushed.
I'm crying a lot.
Im very depressed.

Another three weeks it must've been, and I need to talk to her.

One day I'm just down more than I am usually. I talked to her again.

And I found out she has a boyfriend.

I wanted to cry but I found that I was unable to, I just . . . couldn't, I guess.

I haven't talked to her until this day. I still miss her. I cry thinking about her on a regular basis. I miss her . . . so much.

I just want to see her again.

I don't know what to do. All I can think is:

She doesn't want to talk to me anymore
I'm never going to see her again
I'm never going to talk to her again.
I should've taken her to dinner on that last night,
I should've done more
I shouldn't have ever broken up with her

I look for her, even though I don't want to, and even though there's a zero percent chance that she was in my airport at the same time I was. Or even the possibility that she just shows up one day at my school. All I can do is fantasize if things went right. If maybe we met one day, and the first time we kiss. Our first date. Maybe being romantic by driving in a pick up to the biggest field I could find, and I spread a blanket in the back and we're laying there together, in each other's arms, looking at the beautiful stars. A movie date, a horror movie, where she grabs my arm in fear.
A proposal.
Fantasizing. Daydreaming.
It seems that that is the only happiness she will bring to me now.

If anyone reads this, Thanks. To write all of this that is in my heart down on something. Explains it some more.
I don't know what to say to anyone going through a relationship now.
Take what you will from my story.
Flings like that are beautiful but I am sorry your heart is broken. Iím 15 and about to go on a cruise and I didnít know flings like that still happen.
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