I must say I admire your presence of mind, to be take a deep breath and review what happened with friends and come to a conclusion about the events after taking all the emotions out of it. I wish all people were capable of doing that.
I get out of line myself sometimes, too. Just last night my girlfriend told me I was rude to a restaurant manager because I told her she wasn't handling a service problem fast enough - specifically a drink had been served to my girlfriend with sour milk and the waiter was not checking up on us to see if we needed anything. We asked a busboy to get our waiter but he never showed up, so we called over the manager.
The manager sat down at the table with us and started chatting instead of handling the problem (she was very touchy-feely, even holding my hand). I said, "you're a nice person, but you should already be gone and handling this problem."
I guess the bottom line is that with cruising we have extremely high expectations for excellent service. I don't think you get service anywhere like you get it on a cruise ship. Maybe we are spoiled by that for everything else, like local restaurants. And that means I have to hold my expectations in check once in awhile and remember that not everyone has experienced cruise-style levels of service.