A searing heat wave has struck Southern Alberta with latest Calgary temperatures recorded as +6F or -15C! All EMS units are on Red Alert to treat expected cases of heat stroke. This reporter has learned that deranged Calgarians have been throwing themselves into the Bow River to cool off. Unfortunately, this has resulted in several concussions as the "water" is quite stiff in places. The Mayor has pleaded for calm to prevail.
Sorry for the above. I must be suffering from a severe case of cabin fever!!.