Hubby and I got married with out telling ANYONE. Neither of our parents minded, but his catholic grandmother didn't understand why we didn't have a nice church wedding like her granddaughter. After explaining the money issue to her she responded with "well your cousin got over $4,000 in cash (gifts)" we tried to tell her that the average cost of a wedding these days is $20,000 but she wouldn't hear it. Needless to say we are happy we ran off and got married. I can't imagine how bad it would have been if we had to listen to her "church talk" for months while planning!!