My daughter got married this past summer and she was very good friends with her mother in law. We included her in on everything. My husband and I gave our daughter x amout of money as a wedding present and she could use it however she wanted. ie: elope, honey moon , wedding. This way it was her wedding her planning and my help if she wanted it. I didn't feel like I needed to have control over the wedding since I wasn't paying for it. We included the mother in law in on picking out the hall the food the wedding dress everything. We even hosted the rehersal dinner at our house and they payed for food and drinks. Well now that they have been married for about 7 months things have changed. She (the mother in law) feels like she needs equal time with the newlyweds. If they come to our house for dinner one night they need to see her 2 nights. Its been so stressful for the newlyweds that they don't tell her when they are seeing us. We don't ask them over very often anymore because it just puts more stress on them. I told them to call when they want to come over and we would just leave them alone. Boy I can't wait for grandchildren!!