My youngest left last year for college. It was strange having an upcoming senior and upcoming sophmore home this summer. They both had jobs, thankfully one as a hostess at night at a restaurant and the other worked during the day. They have both developed into these mature young women with their own opinions about everything and basically disagreed on everything as well! Of course my "senior" knows everything and she is right about everything, Yeah right! Of course, they spent a good deal of their time disagreeing with me!
I thought I'd die when the first one left, but secretly glad that I had her sister for another two years. Then I thought I'd die again two years later, walking to the back part of the house and seeing empty, very clean bedrooms with no lights on.
Yesterday, we took both of them back to school, to get ready for sorority rush victims next week! Thankfully both of them are at the same college, but not the same sorority. Oldest will be going to grad school three hours away next year, hopefully. I guess my heart will break again then, but for now they are happy, so I am happy, just knowing they are where they need to be. Every step they take alone, is just one more that I feel confident that they can take when I am no longer with them. The most painful part as well as the most beautiful part of having children isn't the labor and delivery, it's watching them fly away into adulthood.
I didn't cry yesterday, although they kept asking me, "Mom are you going to cry?" I don't know if they wanted me to or not, but the tears and the lump in my throat stayed put until I got in the car to come home. After three calls today from each of them, I am satisfied again that they are in the right place. It was time, for them and for me.