Don't worry, I see the humor in your post.
But at least dealing with your own toddlers at sea is a lot more pleasant than being stuck in the same 4 walls endlessly. I'd take that trip to Paris Island myself if our only vacation option was driving hours and hours and hours on end to get to some inky dinky tourist trap for 2-3 days before driving what seems like longer hours and hours and hours back home.
My kids won't devour any fellow passengers either. (At least it hasn't happened yet.)