Being a restaurant owner and formerly a gourmet waiter I can say that this is a valid complaint. When I was working as a waiter in a private dinner club we went to classes occasionally on how to serve. I distinctly remember an instructor who once worked in the White House who taught that a good server will only be noticed 3 times during the patron's dinner. Once when he is seated and you introduce yourself and explain the menu items. Two, when you take his order. And three, five minutes after you've delivered the dinner to make sure everything is satisfactory.
0ther than those times a good server will be available but will never interfere with the conversation going on. The server should work the table refilling tea, picking up cracker wrappers, removing used plates, bringing fresh butter, etc, but should do so invisibly.