Heney, Please do not let my actions influence yours. I tip because I choose to do so,
because I appreciate service and assistance when I require it , because I like to pamper myself when I'm on vacation and not do certain things myself, because I appreciate the little extra things that certain people do for me and lastly (and you mentioned this one ), because I can afford to do so. I do not see the $2 or $5 as supporting anyone else's family or as part of my obligation to tip to provide a livelihood.
I have supported and raised my family, and remain reasonably "flush" these days and do not dwell on the petty cash outlays that make my vacation experience go smoothly.
There is a certain amount of custom and customary action to my tipping as well. (that makes me a sheep in some folks minds). Different areas and cultures have different customs and expectations for tipping. I still hold the belief that people will interpret the poor tipper or non tipper as being cheap. Your redcap example being a classic. You had facts , circumstances and good intentions on your side, but, the redcap saw "cheap". Same for you Thomas. Neither set of circumstances makes either of you cheap, but ,the interpretation was such.
Let me relate a "tip earned" story. I went on a snorkel /stingray city trip in Grand Caymen. More than half of us have probably done the same. Our guide was a very personable young man who was actually a scuba instructor filling in for a sick friend for a few days. When we got to the snorkel spot I jumped in with my prescriptin mask. As I hit the water the wake from another boat tore off my mask and it dropped to 35 feet , clearly visible in the sand below. Too deep for my free diving skills at this age , after a few choice curse words to myself about my luck, the young man grabbed a weight belt in his hand, jumped in a went right down and came up with my mask. I never asked him to do so. $150 saved. Awhile later, he gave special attention to my wife who was apprehensive about the rays and had her holding them for photos. She had the time of her life .There were 30 other folks on this trip. They all got a great trip. I got a little extra. He got a really nice tip as we got off the boat. I'll never see that guy again, and the few bucks that most folks gave him and the crew probably would have been fine. What I gave him was enough to have him come over by the bus as we boarded and thank me again. This young man worked for tips and knew how to WORK FOR TIPS. He made out and so did we.