Doug--luckily I work in the cash office, so the only time I have to deal with the hourdes of shoppers is when I go to pull money from the registers. But I may take you up on that offer. Last year, shoppers wouldn't move out of the way so I could get through with my "war wagon". (This is what we call our large lock box bolted to a shopping carriage.) It amazes me at the crowd of people that come out to shop. I'll start pulling thousands of dollars from the registers about 30 minutes after we open.
I go out on the floor to watch the people come in when we open. They are just like a herd of cattle, pushing and shoving each other to get to the "bargains". We've even had old ladies fighting with people over the last of an item and others stealing things from other shoppers carriages. It's just plain madness but really fun to be a part of.