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Old May 11th, 2006, 07:30 PM
Luanne Russo Luanne Russo is offline
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 11,518
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Default DOES YOUR HUBBY DO THIS?

> > >>Mrs. Fenton, our store is considering banning your
> > >>family from ever shopping with us unless your husband
> > >>stops his antics. Below is a list of offenses
> > >>over the past few months all verified by our
> > >>surveillance cameras.
> > >>
> > >>MEMO
> > >>Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill
> > >>Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:
> > >>
> > >>1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
> > >>them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
> > >>
> > >>2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
> > >>go off at 5-minute intervals.
> > >>
> > >>3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
>
> >>leading to the rest rooms.
> > >>
> > >>4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
> > >>an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and
> > >>watched what happened.
> > >>
> > >>5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put
> > >>a bag of M&M's on lay away.
> > >>
> > >>6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to
> > >>a carpeted area.
> > >>
> > >>7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
> > >>department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in
> > >>if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
> > >>
> > >>8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help
> > >>him, he begins to cry and asks Why can't you people
> > >>just leave me
alone?'
> > >>
> > >>9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera;
> > >>used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
> > >>
> > >>10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
> > >>department, asked the clerk if he knows where the
> > >>antidepressants are.
> > >>
> > >>11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
> > >>loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
> > >>
> > >>12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
> > >>"Madonna look" using different size funnels.
> > >>
> > >>13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
> > >>people browse through, yelled PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
> > >>
> > >>14. December 21: When an announcement came over the
> > >>loud
speaker, he assumes the fetal position and
> > >>screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
> > >>
> > >>(And; last, but not least!)
> > >>
> > >>15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
> > >>door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly,
> > >>"There is no toilet paper in here!"
> >

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