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Old June 13th, 2006, 02:32 PM
Luanne Russo Luanne Russo is offline
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 11,424
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Default ARE YOU A REDNECK PART I

Your standard of living improves when you go camping.
> You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.
> You have a relative living in your garage.
> Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.
> There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.
> You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.
> None of the tires on your van are the same size.
> You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it.
> Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.
> Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.
> You've slow danced in the Waffle House.
> Starting your car involves popping the hood.
> Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays.
> You whistle at women in church.
> You actually wear shoes your dog brought home.
> You've been in a fist fight at a yard sale.
> You carry a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach the
> kids in the back.
> * You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the
> side. * The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
> * Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
> * You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.
> * You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
> * You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
> * Your neighbors think you're a detective because a Deputy always brings
> you home.
> * A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 dollars worth of
> improvement.
> * You've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
> * You've ever asked the preacher, "How's it hangin?"
> * You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
> * You think fast food is hitting a deer at 80mph.
> * Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take
> them out to see what it is.
> * Breakfast consists of boiled eggs, can of Beenie Weenies, a couple
> saltine crackers and a 6 pack of Budweiser, because you like the smell it
> creates after completing the digestive cycle.
> * There are 13 dogs under the front porch and you have papers for one.
> * A museum curator tries to buy 7 of the vehicles on blocks in your yard.
> * Your Momma knows how to make Roadkill stew.
> * Your truck has more colors than Jeff Gordons race car!
> * You have ever been shot at by the law.
> * You have ever been to drunk to walk, and drove home.
> * Your bathroom deodorizer is a box of kitchen matches.
> * You think genitalia is an Italian airline.
> * You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front
> of her kids.
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