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Old July 1st, 2007, 01:16 PM
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Default help (intimacy?)

this is a stupid question but i really don't know who/where else to ask. i'm wondering if crew members on cruises frequently sleep with passengers. is it a common thing? well on my cruise i made love to a crew member and the things he said to me made it seem like it wasn't just a 'hook up'. he even got off the ship and walked me to my bus. he did wonderfully sweet things, but now there hasn't been an email. should i just forget about it and call it a random hook up or should i hope for more (he said things like he'd come to me and such)? it's just confusing.
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Old July 1st, 2007, 01:21 PM
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Julia,
It's not much different than on land....you just have no way of knowing whether the other person is really going to follow up. Except that on a cruise, the other person can afford to be a little more gracious...at the time. They pretty much know that you can't get in touch with them unless they contact you. But, the good news is that it may simply be a matter of them having very busy schedules. My suggestion would be to assume the worst. Then you can be pleasantly surprised if it turns out differently. Just FYI, I almost married the executive chef from one of the cruise lines. But, it ended because I could not see marrying someone who lived at sea!
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Old July 1st, 2007, 04:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marty
They pretty much know that you can't get in touch with them unless they contact you. But, the good news is that it may simply be a matter of them having very busy schedules. My suggestion would be to assume the worst. Then you can be pleasantly surprised if it turns out differently.
That is very good advice. Long term relationships have happened but they are the rare exception.

Even hooking up with a crew or staff member is a rare exception, so if the relationship was consensual and enjoyable then I would enjoy the memory.

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Old July 1st, 2007, 05:33 PM
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marty, you spoke of busy schedules. how busy are we talking? i believe he told me he works 11 months. if so, that's a whole lot of time to be spent solely working. what does a crew member do for fun (besides spending time with lovely lady passengers )?

i feel like if he wanted to e-mail, he would have already. i mean he can't be that busy, can he?
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Old July 1st, 2007, 08:25 PM
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Julia... move on. You seemed to have already figured it out. Find someone who is here for you all the time.
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Old July 2nd, 2007, 02:19 AM
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Julia - many of the crew work 7 days a week with just a half day off per week......and many work split shifts so they have to fit their sleeping, eating, personal care, laundry, etc. into just a few hours per day.

I know of one person who had a successful onboard romance - she and the crew member got married and have a wonderful life now - he has retired from the cruise business.

But, I agree with the consensus, look at it as a good memory and move on........if he does contact you, then see where it goes, but be prepared that this was just a shipboard fling.
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Old July 2nd, 2007, 02:01 PM
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Julia...

There are all types of people on ships. I think you probably met a Casanova. I worked on ships and I can tell you that there are guys who try everything to have "hook-ups". Personally, I don't think it's right to lead someone on at any time, but this guy probably figured out it works for him.

Or there is a chance he really meant it, and now has mixed feelings, or is actually just shy about following up. Maybe he thinks YOU were the one just having a vacation fling and he is afraid of rejection.

I assume you have his email address? write him and ask. If you don't have it then he probably didn't give it to you because he didn't really want a long-term commitment.
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Old July 3rd, 2007, 12:20 PM
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julia - listen to that little voice inside your head, go with your gut instinct. You know deep down what is or isn't going to happen.
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Old July 3rd, 2007, 12:48 PM
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I know it can hurt, we can get swept away, but in reality, most romances that happen this quick dont amount to anything. I dont think it happens any more on a ship than it does on land. One little piece of advice, some times , when we dont know a person well, some one may be less than honest, and medically a person should take care of them self and make sure they are healthy and a get together didnt leave more than a broken heart. It's a good idea for any one, to go for a check up .
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Old July 5th, 2007, 10:43 AM
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Call it a random hookup. Think of it as a piece of history in your life - you met, had a wonderful time and now you both moved on. The chapter is closed.

Being intimate with someone does mean instant relationship or committment. Not in this day & age.
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Old July 5th, 2007, 02:55 PM
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Julia,

Speaking from experience, just live in the moment. Enjoy the things he does for you while you're there, and if you do hear from him again,GREAT. Don't dwell on what might could happen. Unfortunately, he probably forgot your name when the next group of passengers got on board.
I don't regret anything I've done with any crew member, its all about being adult and responsible. It feels good being the center of attention for a week or however long. Just flirt and have fun.
My best perk of shipboard romance, GETTING ALL THE PHOTOS I DIDN'T PURCHASE FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!! (OK NOT THE BEST) [/b]
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Old July 7th, 2007, 01:37 PM
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he e-mailed, saying he's been trying to call and that i don't answer (which isn't true. hmm? maybe my phone doesn't accept international calls?) he also told me he's sending me a plane ticket to see him in september . thanks for all the advice everyone! even the pessimists...
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Old July 7th, 2007, 02:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by julia06
he e-mailed, saying he's been trying to call and that i don't answer (which isn't true. hmm? maybe my phone doesn't accept international calls?) he also told me he's sending me a plane ticket to see him in september . thanks for all the advice everyone! even the pessimists...
I don't think the honest advice given you which you asked for was pessimism. More like, odds on realism. It ain't over til it's over.
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Old July 7th, 2007, 02:32 PM
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Julia,
I would be skeptical about that phone call excuse since they can call when ship is in home port in U.S. BUT, I am glad to hear that you heard from him. Just don't put all your eggs in that basket, sweetie. When single, I used to live in Miami, and not only did I sometimes date ships' crew but had friends who did as well. Probably the hardest kind of long distance relationship for anyone. Killer work schedules, probably some cultural differences and a moving long distance romance. Tough one. At least you now know that he really does care.
Marty
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Old July 7th, 2007, 02:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colorcrazie
Julia,
Tough one. At least you now know that he really does care.
Marty
That's sort of a stretch ain't it color ?
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Old July 7th, 2007, 03:06 PM
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excuse me, but i was under the impression that any crew member on a reputable cruise line would be FIRED for having intimate relations with a passenger. this would include also staff. where i come from, we would say there is a 'rat in the woodpile' here.
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Old July 7th, 2007, 06:20 PM
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I agree hombre
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Old July 7th, 2007, 10:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby_G
I don't think the honest advice given you which you asked for was pessimism. More like, odds on realism.
this is true. what is happening is very unrealistic. we'll see how it turns out.
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Old July 8th, 2007, 12:43 PM
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I know that they can be fired for going into a passenger's cabin, even by invitation. And, frankly, any passenger who goes to the crew quarters may find themselves in a very ackward spot, at the very least, but I don't think that there is usually any rule about what they actually do. For ex., check into a motel in a port....not the cruise line's business.
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Old July 10th, 2007, 04:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hombre
excuse me, but i was under the impression that any crew member on a reputable cruise line would be FIRED for having intimate relations with a passenger. this would include also staff. where i come from, we would say there is a 'rat in the woodpile' here.
I have to agree as well.
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Old July 24th, 2007, 02:35 PM
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I don't want to sound pessimistic here but until you have a plane ticket in your hand I would just consider it a learning experience and move on. Even though it is considered taboo I have personally seen an Asst. Waiter coming out of a stateroom and I highly doubt that she was delivering room service.... oh wait.... maybe she was..... I would imagine that it happens all the time. We are all human after all!!!!
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Old July 28th, 2007, 03:01 PM
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I have been on many cruises and have watched hoop-ups over and over. One person here called him a "Casanova". He hit the nail on the head. They are very smooth. I think some have an agenda to hoop-up every cruise, with no intentions of keeping in touch. Lyn gave you some good advise. She was right -on. That's bssically what is boiils down to.

I did not sleep with a crew member, but spent time at port. They know how to turn on the charm. Listen to all of the good advise peple have given you here and move on.

PJ
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Old July 28th, 2007, 05:01 PM
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Just too plain scary out there...
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Old July 29th, 2007, 12:19 AM
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Jeez - where was I when all this hooking up was going on ? Most crew members were trying to hook up with other crew members rather than passengers.
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Old July 29th, 2007, 11:47 AM
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I want to know more (because I am nosy ) Were you cruising alone, with girlfriends, with your family?
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Old July 29th, 2007, 11:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trarecar
I want to know more (because I am nosy ) Were you cruising alone, with girlfriends, with your family?
with girlfriends.
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Old July 29th, 2007, 07:40 PM
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most crew members try and hook up with fellow crew members before they do with guests for sure.
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Old July 30th, 2007, 09:09 PM
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I noticed the replies that crew members hook up with fellow crew members wereposted by men.

Believe me take it from a female, that may be the case sometimes, but hot and heavy for the passengers. I've seen it on 3 different lines.

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Old August 16th, 2007, 04:09 PM
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I guess I just don't get it. I've asked a question regarding weather crossing the Pacific and i received 1 replay. The weather is the weather or some such.
Another question regarding theme nights,again 1 reply with the wrong answer( at least they tried). Julia asks about sleeping with a crew member and 27 people reply????????????
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Old August 16th, 2007, 05:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HALGAL
I guess I just don't get it. I've asked a question regarding weather crossing the Pacific and i received 1 replay. The weather is the weather or some such.
Another question regarding theme nights,again 1 reply with the wrong answer( at least they tried). Julia asks about sleeping with a crew member and 27 people reply????????????
Let's see - weather or s** ?? hhmmmm.....
It's hard to predict the weather, especially in the Pacific.

Besides, you need to check it again. Mike posted a very elaborate message on the weather possibilities.
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