My husbands first cruise and he didn't like it

jackieb · #1 (**permalink**) November 12th, 2008, 04:43 PM

I took my husband on his first cruise and he didn't like it. He didn't like dressing up for formal nights, he didn't like the crowds, and he got home sick. Now what do I do. I enjoy cruising. Could it had been the cruise line. The first time I went I went on Royal Caribbean, this time was princess. He doesn't like to dress up, should we try a different cruise line?

NanaShrek · #2 (**permalink**) November 12th, 2008, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackieb

I took my husband on his first cruise and he didn't like it. He didn't like dressing up for formal nights, he didn't like the crowds, and he got home sick. Now what do I do. I enjoy cruising. Could it had been the cruise line. The first time I went I went on Royal Caribbean, this time was princess. He doesn't like to dress up, should we try a different cruise line?

It isn't a "rule" that you have to participate in formal nights. We've been on several Princess cruises and have not dressed up. We eat in the lido and try to stay out of the way when they're doing the formal portraits. We do still attend the shows. Same for Carnival and NCL. Maybe it would be best for him to do a shorter cruise if he gets homesick. I don't think Princess offers them, but Carnival and NCL do. You don't mention which ship you were on, but if you stick with a smaller ship, you won't notice the crowding as much. I did feel the extra people on the Caribbean Princess over the Golden/Grand size. The Coral is nice and is smaller than the others, but it usually does 10 day cruises I think.

green_rd · #3 (**permalink**) November 12th, 2008, 05:55 PM

Does your husband enjoy travel at all? Some people are just home bodies. If he does like some travel, you might look for ways to combine interests, river cruises through historic areas, opportunities to golf, dive or deep sea fish, or a cruise specializing in an interest such as music.

Regarding the crowds, I think the other posters are correct, perhaps a smaller ship might be better. When you are not having a good time every line looks longer and every crowd larger.

Mike M · #4 (**permalink**) November 12th, 2008, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackieb

I took my husband on his first cruise and he didn't like it. He didn't like dressing up for formal nights, he didn't like the crowds, and he got home sick. Now what do I do. I enjoy cruising. Could it had been the cruise line. The first time I went I went on Royal Caribbean, this time was princess. He doesn't like to dress up, should we try a different cruise line?

My suggestion is give NCL a try. Book one of their newer ships that is set up for true "Freestyle Cruising". If you add $75 to $100 to your cruise budget you will be able to enjoy the alternative restaurants, you won't have to dress up and still be able to enjoy some of the best dining on the seas.

NCL also has less regimentation in their activities while still offering a whole bunch of them.

Give it a try and if it doesn't work then it may be separate vacations.

Take care,
Mike

Bentnail · #5 (**permalink**) November 12th, 2008, 11:10 PM

jackieb

He should not give up on cruising after one cruise, give it another try.
There is some good advice in the other posts, try another line.
Find out what he was home sick for and go from there. As for the formal stuff we did it on the first one but have been less formal on each cruise after, now we don't do it. You don't have to be in a suit to have pictures taken just something nice and relaxed. On one cruise I was missing the grandbabies, we found a grandma in the buffet with hers so we had lunch with them and that did what I needed. Adjust your times around the busy time then it does seem as crowded on port days you don't have to be the first off give it awhile then go enjoy. I am not sure a smaller ship is the answer, it is less people but the ship is smaller it may seem just a crowded. Let your husband pick the next cruise. Someone said NCL with the Freestyle, that might work - it did for me. You can always get him hooked on this cruise forum and then he will be taking you on cruises. The main thing with cruising is to do what you want, when and how you want and enjoy doing it with each other. Give it another try.

Drew

jackieb · #6 (**permalink**) November 13th, 2008, 12:03 PM

All of you have given me some good advise. If I can talk him into going again we will try maybe a 5 day cruise. And as far as the formal nights I love them and he hated them, so maybe we can compromize there. Maybe next time we will check into NCL. Thanks to all for your suggestions!

hombre · #7 (**permalink**) November 13th, 2008, 02:28 PM

or you could travel with friends, as i do, some of whom love formal nights. i don't happen to, so i eat in the lido, meet some great table mates, and meet my friends for the show. but i do wear nice slacks, a nice shirt. i'm not one to push things too far.

mehawk · #8 (**permalink**) November 13th, 2008, 06:58 PM

I used to have a similar attitude. As a young man I despised going into crowds or anything close to having a good time, even if it was fun I would claim it was horrible. I grew out ot it and I hope he will also. If he is mature already, he needs to "mature".

Good luck.

beenie weenie · #9 (**permalink**) November 14th, 2008, 11:23 AM

I agree with Mike about NCL, especially their newer ships, which are quite large, but I never feel crowded and there is no pressure to "put on the dog"unless you want to.

There are folks that just don't like to leave their comfort zone. They like the routine, the familiar and it makes them very uncomfortable and unhappy to leave their usual surroundings. Sounds like that is his "thing". You on the other hand sound like a more adventurous soul. Seems to me like you need to find a cruising buddy and plan a few cruises doing your "thing".

jackieb · #10 (**permalink**) November 14th, 2008, 04:07 PM

I think next time we'll try a shorter cruise, and maybe and look for other people to go with. I also think I would enjoy a smaller ship. I never did learn my way around on the crown princess. I also think we'll try another cruise line. We could do without the art auctions. More shops would be nice. And if he doesn't like it next time then he can just stay home from now on

worthew8 · #11 (**permalink**) November 14th, 2008, 07:04 PM

My two cents might not be worth anything, but here goes. My last cruise and truly my first cruise (other than a 3 day cruise to nowhere), had it's ups and downs. I went solo, something I forced myself to do. Call it the bucket list 'cross-off'. Yes, I'm getting older.

I really enjoyed meeting other people, sleeping when I wanted to sleep, reading books on the balcony. Basically, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Of course I had times when I convinced myself I was an outsider and felt out of place, but I was very surprised at other passengers who 'adopted' me. I met some very wonderful people.

On the down side, I really would have loved it if some of the parents had control of their kids. I went on a school vacation week, which also happened to be spring break for the college kids. Retiring to my balcony was heaven. It was in the Carribean. Vacation has to include some sanctuary time, and if you look, you will find it.

This message board helped me to find my next cruise (hopefully more laid back), in the heart of Alaska. I have always wanted to go and I think I found a good time to cruise it.

I guess I can give you two suggestions...Find an itinerary and a time of year that might be more 'suited' to you and your spouse's liking, or, consider going solo or with friends on a cruise line that's more your style.

misguidedangel · #12 (**permalink**) November 15th, 2008, 02:16 PM

Jackie-Have you considered proposing that if he doesn't like cruising that he can stay home and you can go with a friend.

Carnival's attitude towards dressing up on elegant night is they really don't say no to much. You're clothes you would wear to go to a "homey" type restaurant at work (pants, polo/casual shirt, and sandals) are jsut fine for Carnival. I saw men going in with shirts they bought in port that day (not offensive) and a pair of casual pants and no big deal. As for crowds on the big ships, get a balcony cabin and he can escape to the cabin and enjoy quiet time in your own private balcony....

I talked with a woman at work who went on NCL and loved the cruise, with the exception of eating at night. They didn't like eating with total strangers each night, and when they could get reservations for the other restaurants it was usually around 8-10pm at night (they preferred eating early).

I am not a fan of crowds, but on most of the ships I have been on the crowds at at show time and at embarkation, and getting off in ports.

katlady · #13 (**permalink**) November 17th, 2008, 09:41 AM

Since people have talking about a smaller and more causal ship. I will address the other thing people worry about with cruising. That is being on a ship for long periods of time. Try and pick a cruise with a lot of port time, if this is one of your hubby's problems. Some cruises even stay overnight in port. What was his first cruise? Was it the Caribbean, Mexico, etc...

jackieb · #14 (**permalink**) November 17th, 2008, 12:32 PM

We were on the Crown Princess, Eastern Caribbean.

colorcrazie · #15 (**permalink**) November 17th, 2008, 12:37 PM

I would try the more casual cruise lines and the smaller ships. The Carnival Imagination does 5 day cruises out of Tampa and even my teenage nephews enjoyed it. Loved it actually. And my hubby does not like getting dressed up.
P.S. to Michael... he is plenty "mature", just different standard used.
Marty

seadog2 · #16 (**permalink**) November 17th, 2008, 09:50 PM

Well here goes my 2 cents worth. Cruising is not for everyone. Some people love it and some people don't. It is going to be very hard to get someone to enjoy something they don't like. Hopefully there is a vacation that you both can agree on.

matey · #17 (**permalink**) November 19th, 2008, 08:32 AM

Hi! Hope this helps! Our first cruise was a disaster. The weather was awful, the ship rocked and rolled and we did not like it at all. Several years later, we tried Alaska and it was a big success. Then we were hooked. Our first cruise was for 7 days, and I think I was overwhelmed by all the ship had to offer. Once I figured out what did and didn't interest me, I enjoyed it much more.

As others have said, you do not have to dress up on any ship. Formal nights, you can dine elsewhere. Many choose to do that.

As for crowds, that is a bummer! We have not been on a megaship yet, and I think that would bother us as well. When you get used to a ship, you get to know how to avoid the crowds, for the most part at least.

What type of vacation does your hubby ususally enjoy? That may be a clue!

Good luck!!!!

Paul Motter · #18 (**permalink**) November 26th, 2008, 03:34 AM

Cruising is not for everyone, and it sounds like you especially liked some of the aspects he didn't like. here are some suggestions:

Look into his formal clothes.... maybe they were uncomfortable to him. It makes a big difference. If your shoes pinch or beltline pinch, etc.

Be willing to let him go his own way - sometimes ships can be claustrophobic or even boring if there are too many sea days and one person tries to set the agnda for the other. If he hated formal nigts maybe he doesn't like sharing tables with new people - get a table for 2.

Maybe he is more of a "land" guy - pick your itineraries carefully for spots he might enjoy.

In other words - figure out why he didn't like it and there are almost alway solutions. Other than that - some people just aren't cruisers, though the vast majority of people who try it love it.

green · #19 (**permalink**) November 26th, 2008, 10:45 AM

Others have given you a lot of good suggestions.

Was your husband homesick, or did he get home sick? If it was the former, then, perhaps a shorter cruise would work. If the latter, then maybe he could use a patch for seasickness.

A smaller ship would be better if he doesn't like crowds. Also, a balcony would give him some private time.

If he doesn't like to dress up, there are plenty of other dining options, including room service.

Going with another couple is also a good idea. If he is okay with you going with a girlfriend, make sure that you spend some vacation time with him.

I am fortunate that my wife enjoyed our first cruise as much as I did. Our next cruise (this Saturday!) will be on a larger and more lively ship. Our first one was on Holland America, and this one is on Carnival. I expect it will be a younger crowd, on average. We are trying a balcony this time, too. If it were up to me, I would want to experience everything, but I am going to have to temper things a bit because my wife is just coming off chemotherapy. I think we will have a great time, though.

I hope that you and your husband can come to a reasonable compromise. Once cruising gets into your blood, it is hard to imagine not going again.

billbelt · #20 (**permalink**) December 29th, 2008, 12:03 PM

In the past 30 years we have been on many cruise ships with several cruise lines and we find theya re all different. First we like dressing up for formal night but the trend seems to be getting away from that. We just left a long cruise aboard a HA ship and many passengers never dressed and some of those that went staight to the cabin and changed clothes after dinner. We would suggest you try a smaller cruise ship where there are fewer passengers, plus ports where there are fewer cruise ships. Then lastly, forget the rest of the ship on formal night. Do your own thing. If that means having to eat at the Lido Deck because of the dress, then eat at the Lido. Just make it a fun cruise.