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Old January 12th, 2004, 02:04 PM
Jeni
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Default should we cruise even though we broke up

I need advice from all you crusers out there. My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up yesterday. We are booked on the pride this sunday for a week. Im hoping we will work it out but not sure. Should we still go? Do you think maybe the sea air will help us work it out?
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Old January 12th, 2004, 02:19 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Hi Jeni,
Yep, I'd still go and hope you can work things out, best of luck and try to enjoy the cruise. I think right now just the feel of those warm breezes and hot sun would do wonders :-)

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Old January 12th, 2004, 02:26 PM
S Kamm
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

I agree with Donna. The time away from the day-to-day stresses will probably do you both good.
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Old January 12th, 2004, 02:31 PM
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Default Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Anyone else have advice. I doubt we will talk the rest of the week but i know he wants to go....
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Old January 12th, 2004, 03:00 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

you should definitely go...vacations bring out the best in people and maybe you guys can spark back up the chemistry!

good luck!
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Old January 12th, 2004, 03:21 PM
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Default Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

I want to go and i know he wants to go and im hoping it could save our relationship but what if we end up fighting the whole time?
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Old January 12th, 2004, 03:26 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

I guess it depends on what the breakup was over??

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Old January 12th, 2004, 03:32 PM
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Default Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

it was over something stupid. I mean he has a right to get mad for a day or so but after that, he should be over it. We were living together and now sleeping in seperate rooms at least last night we did. do you think we could work it out
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Old January 12th, 2004, 04:05 PM
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Default Re: Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Hi Jeni-
I know things may seem tough right now, but if I was in that position I would definitely still go. I am not sure the reason for the break up, but I think the real decision that needs to be made is can you still go and have a good time...even if things don't work out.? If the answer is no, than its a waste of time and (more) money (i assume that the trip is paid for and you would lose everything). If yes, then definitely go! When going on a cruise as a couple, a cruise is a stress free environment, where no decisions need to be made. . this is great for intimacy (both mentally and physically) . As a couple / friends - I feel that if you can't enjoy each other's company on a vacation like this, then there are bigger problems to worry about should the relationship ever continue...

The last two February's I went on a cruise with my folks, aunt and my uncle (5 of us).. and I met some really great people that I hung out with the whole time. I am in my late 20's and I had such a blast hanging out with new friends I had made, in fact I still keep in touch with some of them from each cruise. Furthermore, I cruised on the Pride in Feb 2002 and it was by far my favorite ship. You will love it!

As a matter of fact, On the pride I met this guy and this gal traveling by themselves ( i thought they might be a couple). They were friends, but she had romantic interests in him and had high expectations that by going on a cruise alone with him would create fireworks and basically "reel him in". However I became very good friends with both of them. The guy was not romantically interested and it was obvious. The girl was really upset, but in the end they both had a great time. I still talk to both of these people, but they no longer talk to each other. When I talk to each of them they always mention how the Pride was a blast and that they want to go on another cruise. In fact the girl even met me out in Vegas last year. She still keeps in touch with myself and my family. She has moved on with another guy and she is inviting us to her wedding.

So the message I am trying to send is even if things are less than desirable between yourself and your ex, a good time can still be gained. You might even work things out given the relaxing, stress-free enviorment.. .who knows. However, I think vacationing is therapeutic and you still have the possibility of having a great time regardless. A vacation is what you make of it. If you go with the intention of having a good time regardless of the situation, then you will. If not, you won't.

Definitely go and have the 'F#$k it' attitude. If there is confrontation, decide to engage in it if the fight is worth fighting and there is something to gain out of it, most of the time, it isn't and let it go. In the end do whatever it takes to make you happy. If it can't be done by going on the Pride, I am not sure what itr would take...

This is just my opinion, I could be wrong. Have a good time.... !

B
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Old January 12th, 2004, 04:11 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

I'm sorry to hear about your break up. I'd go ahead and cruise, too. No since in losing money by cancelling....if need be you can leave the beds as twin beds. Hopefully, things will work out for the best! Bon Voyage!!
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Old January 12th, 2004, 04:38 PM
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Default Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

B,
Thank you for your advice. I would like to email you personally and talk to you. Whats your email address? Mine in jenijohn23@yahoo.com Im in my late 20's as well. Maybe you can help shed some light on the siduation.
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Old January 12th, 2004, 04:55 PM
Boston6
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

If it was over something stupid, you really haven't broken up. You've had a spat which will probably be over and forgotten within 1 hour of boarding. Make reservations for the dinner club and have a romantic 1st night at sea.
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Old January 12th, 2004, 04:58 PM
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Default Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

We'll I think its stupid but he feels strongly about it. We were living together and right now he is in the process of packing his stuff and moving out. Im not trying to stop him. We agreed to meet at the airport sat night so i guess I will just pray about it and see what happens.
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Old January 12th, 2004, 05:55 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Jeni,

My Girlfriend Jenny and I broke up a month before our cruise on the Truimph. We decided to go anyway and it renewed our relationship. We are not together today but our porblems were too big to overcome. What I'm saying is GO, have a wonderful time and don't forget the day you fell in love with him, the butterflies, what it was like holding hands for the first time and all the good stuff that goes along with falling in love!! When you meet him at the airport take a little care package of **** he likes, sports mag favoirte gum, candy bar, make up a coupon for a back rub, be creative I love it when my girlfriend suprises me with stuff like that and I soon forget why I was pissed to begin with.

Anyway
Good Luck
Gregg

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Old January 12th, 2004, 07:13 PM
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Default Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

thanks for all the advice. Im going to leave him alone for 3 days and pray about it. I figure then I will know what the right thing to do is. If its to get on the ship with him, then I will know. He is quite angry right now but what can I do about it? I think i will take everyones advice, have the F**k it attitude, make a special care package, etc... Its like someone said, if it cant be solved on the pride, then it probably cant be solved at all. Im just so disappointed, I bought a beautiful dress for the first formal night with all the little "neccessities" to go along underneath it. Something to put a little spice in our relationship its worth a try. Any other suggestions?
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Old January 12th, 2004, 08:09 PM
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Default Re: Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Jeni,

I am so sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend.

A cruise is the next best thing to a honeymoon. It can be so romantic. I say go with an open mind. If nothing else, the closeness might give you the time to talk things over in a calm and open atmosphere. If you need space, the cruise ship is a mighty big place to be. Hope to see both of you on the ship on Sunday.

Vette
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Old January 12th, 2004, 08:28 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

I would say go -- and it will clarify one way or another.

The money is already lost ,so might as well try.

Harry

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Old January 12th, 2004, 09:43 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

I am sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend, i know by reading your posts you were looking forward to this but I think you should still go. Even if you guys dont hang out, you should just go and have fun yourself! And you can talk out your problems without the stress that you might have at home.
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Old January 13th, 2004, 12:18 AM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Jeni,

I hope you are able to go and if things still don't work out, you are still able to enjoy the wonderful things about your cruise and not let it get you down and miss out on this wonderful experience!!

Good luck to you....

..and to Dom, check out www.dictionary.com for a little help...

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Old January 13th, 2004, 09:15 AM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

You must go, you must go, you must go!!!!! That's an order.

What are your alternatives?

If you stay home, you've lost your money and you're cheating yourself out of a vacation. You are not dining out. You are not being pampered. You are not seeing different places. You are not taking advantage of an opportunity to reconcile.

If you go, you still get all the above benefits whether you reconcile or not. If you continue to argue, you just set the groundrules in the cabin to minimize it's effects.

Regards,
Thomas
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Old January 13th, 2004, 09:19 AM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

I think Thomas is right, if you still *both* want to go, and neither can agree to give up their space and have someone else's friend go, you should set the ground rules.

Examples: No rehashing old arguments, being considerate of each other (no flirting with new prospects, etc.), and trying to make it a pleasant time for both.

Guess it would be like a "Jerry & Elaine" situation from Seinfeld, but they've had a lot more time between relationship & friendship to become just friends....

Good luck to you!

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Old January 13th, 2004, 01:36 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

thanks for all your posts... I have an update. He took the cruise documents from my house the other day. Not sure why. I noticed it when I got home. He either did this so that I cant go or change the name to someone else or so that he has something of mine so that he can get his stuff back from my house. We are 27 and 30 and right now, I feel like he is playing high school games. I didnt let him know I knew he took them because carnival said that I can just get new ones. So even though he is acting like a child, do I still go?
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Old January 13th, 2004, 02:44 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Go by yourself, if he doesnt want to go! You will have a great time, and will help you relax. Sounds like you really need it too. Good luck, what a awful thing to happen.
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Old January 13th, 2004, 03:51 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

I say go but I will qualify that. See if you can get seperate accomodations. Yes you may be able to work things out.. but if not .... you may meet someone! <wink>
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Old January 13th, 2004, 04:27 PM
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Default Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

yea but what if he meets someone?
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Old January 13th, 2004, 04:56 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

That's the risk of going together -- I say go for it -- enjoy your vacation -- if he meets someone, then he wasn't the man for you -- things happen for a reason. Just go and have a blast!
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Old January 13th, 2004, 05:52 PM
Jeni
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Default Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

looks like i will take my chances and go on the cruise. Should he show up at the airport great, if not, im a single cruiser..... wish me luck
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Old January 13th, 2004, 07:24 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Jeni, I hope you do go! Hopefully he will go too and maybe getting away from the old ratrace can help you work things out. If things get difficult, there are many places to be away from each other on the ship too. I agree with JeanS about setting ground rules.

I'm wishing for the best for you. Whatever happens I hope you have a nice cruise. Maybe this is just what the two of you need.

Good luck!

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Old January 13th, 2004, 08:53 PM
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Default Re: Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Hi Jeni:

I concur with the above. It does sound like little (stupid) games are being played.

Ground rules are good. It might be a little ackward in the cabin but hey, your only in there for a little bit.

The suggestion for a separate cabin could have potential if there is space available. I don't know. Just throwing it out as a option but it also depends on the ship.

I don't know if you have traveled with him in the past but I do know that travelling with someone is the best/worst way to get to know someone. You can either make/break a relationship.

Get out and do things, even if it is by yourself. I don't know if there will be a cruisemates get together or not. It sounds like at least one other poster is going. Set up a little get meeting somewhere. The ship will probably have a singles get together or two.

Well, either way have fun. Remember, things happen for a reason. What the reason is ????

Hondo
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Old January 13th, 2004, 10:41 PM
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Default Re: should we cruise even though we broke up

Personally I don't think it sounds like fun to be sharing a cabin with someone who just moved out, but who knows, I could be wrong.......I hope you have a great time regardless!!

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