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  #1 (permalink)  
Old March 25th, 2004, 03:49 PM
jmcline
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Default Inspiration, teens, drinking

Just a few questionsa. We are traveling with two 15yr. old girls on 5/30 on Carnival Inspiration? How does that ship rate with teens for fun activities? I know it is an older ship. Also I've been in the teen chat room. There is alot about underaged kids being able to drink. Of course most of the teens write that they think it is cool.. Does the ship not monitor the age of people that they give drinks to, or are "young adults" providing drinks to the kids? We want the kids to have a great time, but that does not mean we will allow or accept drinking or drugs.

thanks,
jmcline
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Old March 25th, 2004, 04:07 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

JM, let me say something on this. My daughter was a couple of days shy from turning 15 when we took her. She has always maintained a 3.75 or higher grade point average. Plays sports for her HS and over all never been in trouble. My son however had turned 13 on the trip and was always in trouble. Turns out my son was the angel this trip. My daughter meet with a group of girls her age and that's when the predators took over. Each one was telling the other parent that they was hanging out with the other in each other rooms or some other story and the whole time older guys where buying alcohol drinks and giving it to them. Each night she came in at the 1am curfew we gave them, she would shower and go to bed. We never thought anything was wrong. Well the last night my husband and I went to bed around midnight and later on we heard the door open and ASSUMED that both kids was in. Well, around 5 am my son got out of bed for the bathroom and when I looked up my daughters bed was empty. We searched and searched and found a guy early 20's walking down stairs with a drink. I explained to him with my daugher looked like and he said he seen her on lido deck. Well, the same guy was dragging my child back to the room and he dropped her at the door, I started chasing him but he got away. I reported it to an officer on board but nothing really could be done without a name and so forth. Anyway, I am making a long story here but some other parents had the same thing happen that night and couldn't find their daughters. turns out the girls were given something in their pina colada's that night. My daughter made it off the ship but slept for 2 days. All in all Carnival or the ship crew really can't control a person over 21 buying a drink and then given to a minor in a stateroom or pouring it into another glass. When we finally talked to my daughter she said they was told the drinks were virgin pina colada's and she didn't taste any alcohol in it and that her and the girls had at least 2 bought for then each night on the ship. Also Disco is suppose to close for minors at 11 or 11:30, she said 16 and older could stay but the guards never asked her for id and she was not even 15 yet.

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Old March 25th, 2004, 05:05 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

Wow, Thanks for the eye opener. Our girls sound very much like yours. Any adivice of what we could do to prevent these things from happening, or at least make it know to any "young adults" that we are not going to put up with it. Surely Carnival has some responsibilty in the actions of their passengers. Maybe they need to make a policy clear to all adults coming on the ship that this type of action will not be tolerated and legal action could be persued. Or maybe they should have a policy if someone gives a minor a drink, they will be put off the ship at their own expense.

thanks,
jmcline
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Old March 25th, 2004, 05:14 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

They already have that policy. It states that if any adult is caught giving and/or buying drinks for minors (even in staterooms), then they are subject to be thrown off the ship at the next port and will be sent back at their own expense. Of course the catch here is the word, "Caught".
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Old March 25th, 2004, 05:36 PM
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We called a officer immediatly after we got her settle in the room, he came in and tried to get her to give a name but she kept saying she wasn't going to get anyone in trouble. He said what we could do is get the NOPD involved but NOBODY was getting off the ship until it was settled if that is what we wanted to do. Also stated that we would have to have some type of proof and if she didn't verify who it was then no arrest could be made. The other girl who's parents we met day one also couldn't get their daughter to say anything. Well, I grounded mine for 6 months. No phone and no going anywhere unless with us or another relative. She is also never going to cruise with us again as long as she is a minor. She served her time with little complaints. BUT she is upset now because she can't go on this cruise either. She still gets the good grades and doing well and thinks that should make a difference. To me it doesn't. Just let your girls know that by no means do they take a drink from anyone and I mean coke as well. Also never to let there cokes sit on a table while they dance. Either dance with the drink or drink it up before they hit the floor. Never go back to a room with someone they meet on the ship especially if it's someone from the opposite sex and well older than they are. I've been told I should have watched them 24/7 when I posted this before on the boards . Well, that's not what your vacation is suppose to be about. They aren't babies. I gave then some rope, she hung herself and she paid for her actions. I am sure you girls will be fine. just tell them the stories you are reading and hope it sinks in

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Old March 25th, 2004, 05:39 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

When I was on my last CCL cruise, but 2yr old son and husbands dates of birth were switched on their sign & sail cards, so hubby couldn't buy a beer. We were told that when they swipe the card it come up with the age of the passenger and they can't sell to anyone under 21. Hope this helps.
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Old March 25th, 2004, 05:51 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

adele,
wish I was there to see your hubby face when they said sorry can't sell ya a beer your not old enough.

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Old March 25th, 2004, 07:29 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

I am a teen and was on a cruise in December and now from that cruise i have learned my mistakes and know what to do and what not to do on my next cruise.. but first after reading Stacowgirls story, that was kind of traumatizing (sorry if i spelled that wrong.) ive been dealing with the whole drinking peer pressure thing for a while and never really gave into it (thanks to my parents threatening me) but on my last crusie when i broke curfew and was out 2 hours later than i shouldve been, that was it and i learned my lesson.. (do make the curfew acceptable though) so when you cruise with your girls, give them the regular saftey tips (dont take drinks from people/dont leave your drink at a table when your not there) dont go back to guys staterooms.. and i cant say that one enough.. even though your on the ship and its safe or whatever still lay down that rule.. but do give them enough slack because there not babies and your on vacation.. oh and one more thing, with the teen chat board, theres also alot of teens on there that do not find drinking appropriate and dont drink because they are underage.. so not all of the teen cruisers like to get drunk every night of their cruise..so i hope that helped and i hope you have fun on your cruise! if you have any questions.. feel free to ask.. oh and if youre really worried, you might want to buy two way radios to keep in touch with them if you need to

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Old March 25th, 2004, 07:42 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

Sara,
It's wonderful to hear from a teen like you - your parents better be really proud of you. I can only imagine how hard it is to fight against the incredible peer pressure you feel about drinking.

How about 2 way radios or a check in every couple of hours rule? True, I only have a 13 year old, but the checking in worked just fine for us.

dorothy

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Old March 25th, 2004, 09:09 PM
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<ok sorry if this is a little long> well my parents just made me radio them whenever and then we'd meet up for like lunch, other meals and snacks or at the gym or room on sea days and at night when i was close to curfew.. but some two way radios dont work. i brough my 2 way motorola 2-mile range ones and sometimes when my parents would be in the 9th deck at the pool and i would be in my room the reception between them was pretty bad.. and also ALOT of people had them on my ship so we kept getting everyone else on our channels.. so just make sure yours are good and if not, just schedule a meeting place for when your radios arent working-or be prepared to wander the ship.. oh and about the drinking- my parents probably dont know the pressure teens go through with drinking and other stuff.. i dont get pressured to drink, the only time i was drinking during my cruise was at dinner and my mom gave me her champagne.. i just dont feel a need to drink so i dont bother.. but with me i dont ever really get drunk so i guess a sip of a drink here and there although im underage isnt that bad.. some of the discos on the ships dont have a problem with having underage drinkers getting drinks from their bars.. i was 14 on my last cruise and walked right up to the bar and bought my 16 year old friend a drink, and they didnt hesitate.. i thought they were pretty responsible about it and because i look older, thats probably the ony reason they let me buy the drink..

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Old March 26th, 2004, 01:26 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

Sara,
Thanks, your words and attitude is a breath of fresh air and encouragement. Both of these girls have a good head on their shoulder and have good values. It just worries me that if older guys pay any attention to them they will loose focus.
Hope your trip will be fun and safe.
God Bless,
jmcline
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Old March 26th, 2004, 01:36 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

I think that it would have been very hard to do anyhting about this... NOPD dosen't have jurisdiction! You are in international waters at the time of the offense. Even if you daughter did give a name it would have been next to impossible to prove anything took place.

Be glad that nothing more happened! It is a bad story but the law would work against you in the case...
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Old March 26th, 2004, 02:12 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

Stacowgirl, I'm going to tread very dangerous ground
here by saying the punishment you've levied on your
daughter is way too harsh. Grounded six months
and banned from future family cruises? Teens do
stupid things, it's going to happen. Turn her mistakes
into learning experiences but don't ruin her life.
You are risking serious rebellion and pernament
alienation by being so harsh.
Show her love, guidance, mercy, direction, forgivness.
No one is without sin, not your daughter, not you, nor I.
I know, I know, this is none of my business but i
wouldn't be able to sleep if i didn't address this
injustice.
Peace,
RSP
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Old March 26th, 2004, 05:28 PM
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To fellow parent Stacowgirl:
As important as I hold values and set guidelines for our children, I feel balance and compassion should always be in any punishment. I hope now that it is not in the heat of the problem, you might re-open this topic with her, and allow her to see you as a loving caring parent, who can change their mind and re-instate trust in her. And what better way for her to be able to thank you and prove to you she has grown from her mistake, than to take another cruise with you. The warm memories of this next cruise will take away the hurt, anger,and bitterness of the first.
jmcline
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Old March 26th, 2004, 05:37 PM
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RSP,
Have you seen the way some children are today. The juvenile systems are pack with kids, some for well-to-do families because all they got was a slap on the wrist from their parents and figured they could get away with other stuff . Yes children make mistakes. This mistake could have cost her her life. That's right so you think about that when you tell me I was harsh. She was in some strange man's room, she don't know what he done to her and of course we will never know. When asked after she recoverved from her hang over if she could do it over again what would she do. Her reply "I wouldn't change a thing, I had fun, so what if the guards was stupid enough to let us stay in the disco and drink then it's their fault" and "So what he was just 21" That's why she got the "harsh" punishment as you put it. She has well been over her punishment and for your information, during those six months she was allowed to go out to eat, movies and church with her boyfriend as long as she went there and back because we trusted the fellow" She was only not allowed to go anywhere such as parties and dances. She wasn't handcuffed to the house. Normally I wouldn't say this but maybe you need to have a child do that to you and see how you will handle it since you say I did an unjustice. Obviously I must have some type of good parenting skills because she still has a high grade point average and still thriving. And why do you worry about my child rebellion isn't that your point in the first place that teens will be teens and rebellion is part of that. Sorry to be so rude in the post but I told the story to help people not for some "social worker, nut doctor wanna be" to tell me how to tend to my child. Do you have teens? AND by the way this happen a year ago. You make it sound like I still have her punished.

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Old March 26th, 2004, 05:58 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

We have talked about it and she has said that she can't promise me that something like that won't happen again. So, you think that I should spend our hard earn money to enjoy a cruise that we can't enjoy because we have to worry about the children the whole time. We have said that as long as she is under drinking age she will not be allowed to cruise with us. When she is of age then we will gladly take her again. We even said that if her boyfriend comes along we might take her again this summer. As long as someone is there with her because she will not stay by our side 24/7 like she would her boyfriend. What part of this story wasn't clear to anyone. She and other girls spent the most of the cruise lying to the parents about being in other girls rooms and so forth and was in rooms of GROWN MEN. How easy some sicko could have raped these girls and even shut them up permantly after doing so. I have left a very important piece of this puzzle out. All I will say is that her then boyfriend at the time of the cruise came to us with some information that cause him to break up with her and also cost us major Dr. Bills. This was 7 mts after the cruise. She may NEVER have children because of this and the only way this thing could have happened was on the ship with one of those men. You see she doesn't know what happened the last night as she was obviously too drunk or was slipped something. All I wanted to do by telling the story was let parents know things like this happened. And if all you think not taking her cruising again as a minor is harsh than oh well, what she came home with could have been a hell of a lot worse and she could have paid dearly for it and we still don't know how it has effected her so no I will not risk it happening again and that is my way of protecting her.

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Old March 26th, 2004, 06:44 PM
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Default Re: Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

Stacowgirl,
From one parent to another. Please read your posts again, i'm not going to tell you how to discipline your daughter. I believe thats your buisness. BUT When you asked her if she would do it again her reply to you was< "I wouldn't change a thing, I had fun, so what if the guards was stupid enough to let us stay in the disco and drink then it's their fault" I read that as she knew that she wasn't drinking "virgin" drinks as she stated to you early .< "When we finally talked to my daughter she said they was told the drinks were virgin pina colada's and she didn't taste any alcohol in it and that her and the girls had at least 2 bought for then each night on the ship." Now I bring these points up to you as you might have missed them when you were mad at her, but to me it sounds like she doesn't need to be on a cruise ship to drink, maybe i'm wrong and I hope I am but if not maybe you need to talk with her again. Just one parent to another, nothing personal.

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Old March 26th, 2004, 07:31 PM
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Stacowgirl, thank you for not blasting my intrusion
and also for providing more of what went on. The
punishment doesn't seem as 'harsh' now. She
wasn't grounded to home for 6 months as i had
initially envisioned.
I'm 48 yrs old, my wife of 20 years is a school
psychologist (not a nut doctor wannabe, ),
we have a 15 yr old son and a 12 yr old daughter.
They are good kids, don't get in too much trouble,
average students. I started drinking at age 16.
Alcohol nearly ruined my life. Finally came to my
senses 14 years ago and joined AA. That would
be 'Friends of Bill W.' that you see listed in Capers.
So i am no fan alcohol and minors because i have
first hand experience of how else alcohol can ruin
a life.
So carry on and thank you again for responding
in a kind way.
RSP
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Old March 26th, 2004, 07:57 PM
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Tom
Yeah, that's what I am trying to say. She lied the whole time about the situation. She says up until the last night it was virgin drinks. I myself feel that's not true at all. And I should have been clear about the 6 mts thing. This was only weekend things because she wasn't allowed to do things on school nights unless it was dealing with her church or school project anyway. She got away with alot trust me. We trusted the then boyfriend very much and he was allowed to come over and watch movies or take her out for dinner or a movie but they only stayed gone the time it would take to do those things. I still feel like I can't trust her word but when the then boyfriend broke up with her because of the situation I kinda mention to you, and it hit home and she really does understand what she did wrong. I talked to her a while ago and told her how some post said I was to harsh. She said not really because she still did things anyway and she also told me that almost all the teens were drinking on the cruise. My son has now informed me that one of the kids he hung with said his parents was buying his 17 year old brother drinks. Upon asking my son if he had access to alcohol he says no way I swear and says noone in his age group he hung with even thought about drinking. He was 13 then. Oh and RSP, sorry about the nut doctor wanna be crack I made, I couldn't think of how to spell the correct term.

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Old March 26th, 2004, 08:33 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

And from what I have read here, it is one more reason that parents of teens MUST keep in touch with their teens and MUST have them almost tied to their sides. The reprecussions of this incident should ring loud and true to any parent that lets their kids run free on cruises. I'm not blaming the parents so much, as the kids who see a chance to be free and wild. But the parents are ultimately responsible for what happens.

I showed this thread to my father who raised three children (mostly successfully) to adulthood (we are all now in our 30's and 40's) - he is one of the most laid back people you would ever want to meet, but he said there is NO WAY he would let anyone between the ages of 12 and 17 roam alone at night on a cruise! Too many dangerous things can happen - and he also said you can't trust their friends (whether new or long term friends) because once they get something in their mind nothing will stop them short of true parental intervention.

p.s. I say mostly successfully because all three of us had one incident that cause us acute embarasment and humiliation when we were caught and presented to our father.....it takes a lot to make him blow his top, but one time each of us caused him to do it - but we learned our lessons!

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Old March 26th, 2004, 08:41 PM
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Great post Lisa, and you and your father are right. We tried it once with the kids, we let them have freedom because we thought they would be safe and really wanted them to have a good time. Now I see the mistakes we made also. Everyone else's kids were out by themselves and being new to cruising at the time we thought that was what we was suppose to do. Just let them hang out and make friends. Even the best of kids are going to try things and get in trouble nobody's kid is immune from peer pressure.

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Old March 27th, 2004, 10:23 AM
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Stacowgirl,
I encourage you to raise your children as you see fit and not as others feel you should. I wasn't going to chime in here, but when people who don't even know you start saying you are too harsh, and then I can't remain silent. I had a daughter who wasn't parented at all by me, let alone harshly. Long story short, when she was eighteen she went with older boys (men) after work for a few beers. They were driving her home or somewhere afterward and had an accident. The doctors talked us into taking her off life support four days later. I believe I would rather wonder now if I was too harsh, instead of had I been harsher, would she still be with us. What I am trying to say is, as parents we must live with our parenting decisions, so they should be our decisions. Oh yeah, it is not always someone else that the bad things happen to.

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Old March 27th, 2004, 01:05 PM
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John,

I am so sorry for your lost. That is heart wrenching. But that's the kind of thing I am trying to avoid going through. I'm going to be tough and I want to know what my kids are doing when they are away. I took for granted that being on a ship meant nothing could happen cause we was on the ship also. I think parents should realize this, and to the ones out there that think "not my child" well those on the ones who's children haven't been caught yet. Thanks for your story John, God bless you and thanks for the words of encourgement because that makes me know I did the right thing.

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Old March 27th, 2004, 03:22 PM
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Stacowgirl,
Thanks. I try to not let her passing be in vain.

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Old March 27th, 2004, 07:56 PM
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WOW

We leave on our cruise in 1 week I have a 15 year old daughter. I thought it was going to be fun for her to go on this cruise. My husband and I watch over every move she makes at home because if you give an inch she takes the mile. I was thinking this was going to be a great vacation she can't get into any trouble. Boy was I wrong.... Thanks for the stories. I'll keep the rooster act up, over my little chick.
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Old March 27th, 2004, 09:38 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

Ive been on several cruioses and it is not so easy for kids to get drinks, first of all they are expensive, second of all, you have to give your sail and sign car every time you order a drinks, you will have a complete list of everything that was ordered, so u can monitor what has been ordered with your card.
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Old March 27th, 2004, 10:32 PM
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Stacowgirl,

Thank you very much for this wake up call! I read your story with much sadness and am sorry nothing was done to the men that took advantage to your daughter. How devastating!!

It is a real eye opener and having raised 4 children, I commend you for your actions. I also feel that lots of parents have their heads buried in the sand. For survival, our precious youth must be taught right from wrong, to take responsibility for their actions and face the consequences.

I watched Oprah a few weeks ago concerning the latest pre teen activity is now to perform O/S to friends on the school bus. Apparently it is the cool thing to do!! They incl. honor students from descent homes, with good parents, christian upbringing, etc., but for some reason have no respect for themselves. Being popular and fitting in is more important!! Shocking!! It seems to me, somehow we have failed our youth!

None of us are perfect or have a license in parenting. Each has to do the very best we are capable of doing to love and raise the children God has blessed us with.

Best wishes and I hope everything works out for your daughter.
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Old March 27th, 2004, 11:53 PM
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

to barbie,

If you are really reading these post you would see that the teens are not buying their own drinks ADULTS or predators of young girls are buying the drinks. I would never link my credit card to my children sail and sign account from the start. I can't believe that you can sit here and say it's not easy. WOW then you should have been on the Inspiration when I took my first cruise just me and my husband. There was lots of teens that had just graduated, drunk as cootie brown the whole trip and when boarding the ship from Mexico most of them couldn't walk. Drinking age is 21 so graduates from high shouldn't have access right. Well, guess again so called PROUD parents was the ones buying their kids a few harmless drinks. I wish somebody that was on that cruise who wasn't stone cold drunk and remembers that reply and tell what they saw. So don't sit here and tell us how hard it is to get alcohol on the ship. And reread your post and you'll see how stupid it sounds. Why would they take a childs sail and sign card and sell them alcohol. That would be the only way it would show up for a parent to see it on the bill.

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Inspiration May 26, 2002
Holiday March 1, 2003 & August 21, 2003 & April 24, 2004
Sensation March 3, 2005

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  #29 (permalink)  
Old March 28th, 2004, 09:22 AM
Cruzkid
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

Please remember that a cruise ship is a small city and all the bad things that can happen at home can happen on a ship. It behooves parents to regularly get up off the lounge chair, step away from the slot machine, leave the art auction or pass by the bar stool and physically check on your children and their activities. We took turns doing this on our past cruise with our grandaughter (13 yrs. old) who had made friends and spent some time in the kids area at the video games etc and in the evening they would get ice cream and stroll the shops. We would be seated on the promenade and watched them come and go. Amanda constantly checked in with us and we with her, when she was with her new friends. We had given her the talk about never going to anyone's cabin without our permission and to not drink anything but what she had purchased , and all the other precautions. She had lunch with her friends at Johnny Rockets (so did we) and had a wonderful time overall. I know as she gets a little older we will have to be just as vigilant. We walked her to the kids area (no adults allowed inside by the way) and as I said if she was to be there she was to stay there until we gave permission to go elsewhere when we came back to check on her.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old March 28th, 2004, 09:43 AM
BJKeen
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Default Re: Inspiration, teens, drinking

The cruise lines do not sell alcohol to anyone under 21 yrs. of age and they check their sail-n-sign cards for varification. Other passengers provide kids on occasion with alcohol. On one cruise, an older woman (21) provided my 16 yr. old with alcohol. I was not happy about this. Of course, they were both to blame, her for purchasing the alcohol for him and him for drinking it.

On my last cruise the kids were stealing beverages from adult while they were in the pool. My fifteen yr. old said there were more drunk middle school age kids than older kids on the ship.
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