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Old March 30th, 2005, 10:34 AM
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Default stressing about father-in-law's health

Wow. After reading the post about the suprise cruise for husband going sour, I am just stunned. Now I am beginning to stress about our upcoming cruise. We sail May 2nd and last week we found out that my father-in-law (my husband's step-father of 23 years) has congestive heart failure. He was in the hospital for three days and has since come home. He is 93 years old and the doctor's said at this point there is nothing to do but wait....it could be a month....it could be year. Now my fear is that something will happen while we are on our cruise. The hard part is our 19 year old daughter ADORES her grandfather and worships the ground he walks on. Both my husband and I know that when he does pass, our daughter will need all of the support we can give her........I forsee alot of sleepless nights in my future.
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Old March 30th, 2005, 01:27 PM
beenie weenie's Avatar
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Default Re: stressing about father-in-law's health

If travel insurance would protect your investment should the unthinkable happen, you may want to consider it. But from an emotional aspect I guess that I'd have a family discussion and get a consensus one way or the other from all of you. I would imagine that you have started to prepare your 15 year old for what lays ahead. I would just talk to her openly about your concerns and how she feels about proceeding with the cruise plans, and contigencies. None of us have the luxury of knowing what tomorrow brings. All we can do is to hope we made the right choice and keep moving forward. Unfortunately no matter how much time we have with those we love, its never enough.
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Old March 30th, 2005, 08:13 PM
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Default Re: stressing about father-in-law's health

I agree buy the travel insurance just in case. Talk to your daughter and see how she feels about taking this cruise. God only knows when it is our turn to go home. So you have a 50/50 chance. Just follow your heart and God will take care of the rest. My prayers go out to you and your family during this time of uncertainity.

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Old March 31st, 2005, 12:04 AM
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Default Re: stressing about father-in-law's health

Been there, done that. Last Nov. we cancelled a cruise due to my mother's failing health. Turned out, the day we were supposed to leave, she ended up in the hospital, for what turned out to be the last 3 months of her life. We were thankful we made the decision we did and could be there for her. Congestive heart failure was only one of her problems. A cancer patient, she also battled pneumonia, gastroenteritis, low blood counts, etc. Only you can make the decision that is best for you and your family.
Good luck!


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Old March 31st, 2005, 12:33 AM
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Default Re: stressing about father-in-law's health

So sorry about what you are going thru, but at least you still have time to make a decision. The question you might ask yourself is, when your time comes, and you look back on your life, which decisions will you have made that you will be most proud of? I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can always go on another cruise, but certainly that is your decision to make....

Hugs to you!


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Old March 31st, 2005, 05:59 AM
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Default Re: stressing about father-in-law's health

All I can say is if you know that a loved one has failing health, and may pass away at any given time I would hold off on going away. But then again, each individual has to make his/her own decision.

My sister-in-law had been on dialysis for many, many years and because she was so stubborn, strong and wanted to live she was able to withstand 20 years of dialysis, but at the end she lost the battle. We all knew that she was going to die, but the question in everybody's mind was , when?

Anniversarycruisin', if you're not sure if you should go or not, talk to your family, and especially your daughter. Let her know what the situation will be like if something does happen to your father-in-law while you're on vacation. Trust me, it's the worst feeling ever.
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Old March 31st, 2005, 08:56 AM
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Default Re: stressing about father-in-law's health

Thanks everyone for your imput. When we booked our cruise we did take travel insurance so that won't be a problem. Our travel agent said that we can either get a refund or reschedule our trip for another time. I think we will take your advice and talk to family members. But I know our daughter will need both mine and her dad's support so I guess that pretty much answers my dilemma.
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Old March 31st, 2005, 10:02 AM
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Default Re: stressing about father-in-law's health

the best advise i can give is to talk to your father-in-law directly. His is the only opinion that truly matters.
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Old March 31st, 2005, 10:59 AM
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Location: metrowest area of Massachusetts
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Default Re: stressing about father-in-law's health

I agree with Lisa K. When my father-in-law was diagnosed with brain and liver cancer a few years back, the family wanted to put our lives on hold. My father-in-law flipped and demanded that we all live our lives to the fullest. This would allow him to go a very happy man. His wonderful attitude made the trauma of the situation easier for us. He passed away 2 months after he was diagnosed but was the happiest I ever remember seeing him.
No one can advise you on what is the right or wrong thing to do but allowing your father-in-law to have input in your decision will let him know how much he means to you. I would also let your daughter be there when you talk to him. I think this will also help heal your grief if something should happen while you're gone, if you do decide to go.

My prayers are with you and your family during this time.

Cheryl C.
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