I am not sure where to begin with this, but will give it my best shot.
Have you ever had/have a fear that takes over your life? I do.
To get the gist of it, I'll lay out a brief history.....Sorry it's so long.
Ever since I was a little kid, I have had a tremendous fear of thunderstorms, thanks to my mother instilling this in me due to her fear. We lived in Oklahoma, the storms down there were intense, even the little ones. When they were forcasted to come, it was to the storm cellar for us. This took place, storm after storm and never got any better.
At the time, I was laughing at her, I enjoyed the storms, they didn't really bother me.
I just didn't like how they scared her half to death. Little did I know, It was having a Pavlov effect on me! Now I live in Massachussetts, far away from the big bad storms, but my fear is present! I don't know when or how it began for me, but it did! and I hate it!
I promised myself, I would not do this to my kids! I wouldn't wish this fear on a dog!
For the most part, I haven't......They must get it from thier father! Thank God.
I like her, (mom) stay home now when bad weather is forcasted and sit in my basement. I don't drive, for fear of getting into a wreck, cause I'm a wreck with my hands shaking. I just stay home or pull off to shop till the storm passes. The whole family laughs at me, (Husband and 4 children) but sadly, it is my life.
We love to travel and do so everytime there's a break from school. Usually we go by car/plane to Florida or Vegas, but I have found a new means of travel, CRUISING.........and I love it! I really, really, enjoy the whole exeperience of it all.
We went on our first cruise last April, the weather was beautiful. We had a wonderful time and when we got home, I booked us another one!
Here's the problem, we are going in July, to the western caribbean....Am I nuts??????
My husband says, don't worry about it.......go have fun! (***damm Floridian, what does he know?) It's in my head now, I can't stop thinking about it.
I knew when I booked this it would be hurricane season, but, I also knew that the ships will not venture into a bad storm. So I see little chance of seeing a hurricane, if there happens to be one out there at the time. Thank God.....and the stablizers are good enough for most rough seas, that it will be ok out there.
But I am sure to hit some sort of thunderstorm I'll bet. It is summer afterall.
I am screwed... How do I get over this fear?
I am usually in control of my surrounding and never place myself into a situation that I can not control, but on the boat, I am helpless to where ever the captian goes!
I am trying to tackle it small steps at first, but it sure is hard.....any advice?
You guys have always been there for me.........thanks!
Try a hypnotist - seriously - I have heard they work great. Since it is in your mind you need to talk to yourself each time and take small steps till you get through it. The hypnotist can help a lot or a phycologist. Now since you are on a ship and not driving while at sea - can you be ok? Think seriously about it. I will not tell you there are not storms at sea. Most of the time there is not but if I tell you that and you hit one then what? I was in a bad lightning storm on an April cruise last year where I was nervous. I've been through other storms at sea. We travel in Sept which is the PRIME hurricane season and have had rainy days and high wind and waves avoiding the storms. I feel safer at sea because at least I can travel away from the storm unlike land where you have to sit through it. I too am nervous in storms because I've seen what mother nature can do in Texas.. We are in Houston and we have hail and wind and lightning and the rain drops are huge! New York the rain you could run through it and barely get wet - that is where I'm from. But I combat the fear by watching the storm. They are beautiful! lightning is incredible. If you can change the way you think and see the beauty maybe that could help. But think about the trip ahead of time and realise there can be storms - not bad because you will skirt around them but there can be rain. It is the tropics. Please try a perfessional - it sounds like it wouldn't hurt and really they could probably help you in so short a time that you will wonder why you didn't go to them before... Debbie
I am gearing myself up (so to speak) for this trip. I have waited months for it.
My husbands plan is to have me outside and watch one safely from a distance with him. I will admit, I don't think it will be beautiful, but I am willing to try it.
I know that I have this fear, so I guess just by reconizing it is the first step, tackling it is the next. I won't freak out of anything like that, I like suffer a silent hell instead!
Things have gotten out of control on this fear. I am trying to find someone skilled up here in this phobia, but there is no time till I cruise in 2 weeks!
I guess I am trying to see if people used the heads on approach to conquer thier fears and most importantly, did it work? I sure don't want to give up cruising over this!
You can conquer it - and you are right in recognizing it. IT is just I didn't want to lie and say there is no chance of one at sea. They really are beautiful to see the clouds - all different shapes - remember as a kid when we tried to make cartoon forms or animals out of the clouds shapes??? Also the lightning is incredible and beautiful when you see it going all different directions in the sky. And of course - not to preach at all - but prayer helps a lot. You will do fine - I hate to think of you suffering when you are suppose to be having the time of your life but with your hubby beside you I know you can do anything you set your mind to. Hopefully it will be a beautiful trip with no storms at all. Really July is not real bad on storms at all - the hurricanes that usually hit hit in Sept to Oct mainly. You might have a light shower here and there but those only last a few minutes and cool things off.... Debbie
Dear Momx4, I too have fears, also due to childhood. It takes baby steps. One of my fears is heights. I was only on the top deck of the ship once. from then on, i only stayed where I felt the most comfort. If you see a storm coming, go inside the ship. there were so many places on the Esctsay, that you hardly knew you were on the water. What you can't see, won't hurt you type of thing. You need a comfort zone on the ship. A place that will make you feel better.
I was so petrified of Jaws - brother used to torment me after the movie came out. Made me very scared of sharks coming up under me in the water. DIdn't stop me from getting in the water but did try to stop me from scuba diving when hubby said he wanted to try it. I had a lot of fears - hated getting my head under water and scared to death to take mask off under water and have to close my eyes (so in the dark under water) because of contacts, couldn't beath (so scared) and water from the regulator would bubble up into nose and then water in nose. SOOOO scared. I told hubby that I would "try" but if I couldn't get through the certification than I just couldnt' do it but I would go and try it and try it until I just physically couldn't do it. Mentally I pushed and pushed and pushed. I made it with extra instructor private training and absolutely love scuba diving now!!! It took a lot out of me but gave alot back in return and I have now learned as much as possible about sharks and their bahaviour and that has calmed my fears in itself a lot. Education about what you fear and what real harm it can do will go a long way. On my first night dive they want you to fall backward off the boat into dark water - I knew there was a shark under there with his mouth open - well there wasn't! My first ocean dive was a feed the sharks behind plexiglass in Curacao - talk about confronting it head on... You can do it if I can!!!!! Debbie
I'll have to make sure I find a "Happy Spot" for myself during a storm.
Most for me it will be the casino. I am able to keep myself pretty busy in there!
I do need to try to tackel this head on though. We are driving down from Mass. to Florida. Guess I'll get a lot of chances then. at least I won't be the one behind the wheel.
they say everyone has a fear of something whether it's verbalize or not..your strength is that you recognize and verbalize so that's half the battle..everyone who has posted has given you good advise..you might also pray on it and try to overcome it alittle at a time..good luck
dearest momx4 - if you can find a qualified hypnotist in your area, not one of those guys/gals that fill a hotel banquet room, but an actual psychologist who has training in hypnotherapy it can work wonders, take it from someone who knows.
Take it in little baby steps. The next time there is a thunderstorm heading your way, don't run into the cellar. Stand in a doorway or by a window with your husband at your side, you can clutch his hand. If you can only make it thru one flash/boom that's perfectly ok. Its a step in the right direction. I used to cringe at thunderstorms, but my husband helped me see the beauty of these storms. Now its like, wow did you see that?? I still sometimes jump a little bit when it booms really close but thats about it.
Thunderstorms on the ocean are truly a thing of beauty.
Question - what is your exact fear? the sound of the thunder? the flash/crackle of the lighting?
LisaK.......I would have to say the lighting. I fear getting hit by it the most. Maybe that's why I feel safest in the basment. Once in a car drive down to Fla. from Ma., we were in Georgia when a severe storm hit all along Rt. 95. I had my face in a pillow through the whole ordeal. It was like going through the gates of hell. Big bolts coming down all around you. They were so close you could smell the sulfer. I was in tears when it was over and shook for what felt like forever. Dh was a bit nerved too, but being from Florida,
he put up a good front that he admitted to me later on.
I still do shake as the storm clouds begin to swell up and darken. I can't help it.
It just happens, it's embarrassing and I hate it. So do you think it's really the lighting or just the whole scenerio it's self?
Fear is good thing when the brain processes it correctly. It tells one when to be aware. Unusual fears need to be faced to get a grip on life so that one may enjoy living it. Lost our family home in Oct. 1954 to "Hazel" and part of our roof in Oct. 89, "Hugo". I am sailing in Oct. this year from Charleston,SC.
Real fear is flying with me as the pilot. I even scare me...lol. Work on your problem and learn to enjoy and experience life to the fullest. Good luck in your quest.
I have been to Ok. once on a Bass fishing tournament trip. I spent a week in a little town called Wagner, Ok. Nice town too !
I understand what you are saying about the storms there. They can get very bad in a very short time. Seems like you can not have a normal thunderstorm there, without a tornado or two popping up. I tell you this , because I can relate to what your saying. OK,
Say your cruising in July, thats great ! The wife and I usually cruise in August or late September. Thats prime time for hurricanes. But thats ok ! The rates are cheaper, and the wife and I are on vacation ! We love cruising too, and thats the only vacation we take !
Happy Camper is right, try to work through your fears ! Meet your fears head on ! Don't ignore your fears, learn to use them, and respect them, for your safety ! By understanding them, and talking about them, you can meet them head on ! Thus, being able to enjoy your cruise, and your vacation ! ( When MOM is happy, the whole family is happy ) !
If you've never seen a thunderstorm at sea, take time to watch one ! Its an awesome sight !
David......We lived in a tiny little town called Ft. Gidson. (pop. 550).
I do understand, baby steps at first. I am planning on it, but fear is fear. I need to stay strong and don't give up. I'll do my best. Thanks everyone.
back up regroup and put all you fears in one bag, most of the time at sea you dont hear what is going on outside,if so draw the curtain, take a nap. I have other fears
(travel) but this was out 5th cxruise, drop me aline at the email address and we can talk. DO NOT let the fears take control of your life.
drop me a line bob
I think my best defense is a good offense. If I hear/see a storm coming, I'll try my best to stay and see it from a safe distance. But if I can't I'll go gamble or do someting else fun, till it's over. I will just keep in my that it will be over soon. Thanks for all the wonderful support guys.
If you click on Photo's name the e-mail form will come up and you can e-mail him. Some people (like you!) hide their e-mail, others (in blue) you can e-mail. I think your last post is a good idea-just stay inside if there's a storm.
Personally, my problem is very crowded places. The muster drill is pure H*** for me, depending on the ship. On some you just meet and they tell you the procedures, on others you have to cram together like sardines and stand there until it's over. I just try to keep breathing (in through my nose, out through my mouth), and get through it! I also have a wonderful DH who holds my hand! Those five or ten minutes feel like hours!
"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour."
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If I hadn't have know that I didn't write your original post I could have sworn I wrote it. I have a terrible fear of storms brought on by my mother during childhood. I also have sworn not to pass this on to my now grown children and did not do so. I have been on many cruises so far, different months of the year. So far the fear has only been a factor once on the Holiday in January. I awoke to waves lapping up on the window and the boat rocking. I was terrified.
We went to several different places in the ship to find a place I could calm down. To be honest there was not place that worked that day. My husband was afraid that I was going to set on the deck in my life jacket and scare all the other passengers.
I always travel with a prescription of anti-anxiety meds for just that problem. I rarely use it but I have it if I can't calm down. The problem with that is it usually puts me to sleep which is the case that day. Believe me it was best for everyone.
Two years ago we lost our entire town to a tornado, my family and home were spared but everyone was greatly affected. I know what can happen. We have lived it and know the power of the weather.
I still travel, love to cruise, but will be cautious. Talk to your doctor. If a little pill can help you from time to time give it a try. Therapy could help too if you trust that. Check them out well before going.
I hope you and your family have a great time. I have even going on a cruise in October and did not have a storm at all so just chance it..........
How about that ! Thats where we had our tournament there, on Lake Fort Gibson. We are at a little diner there called Taylors Landing. Its right there on the lake by the bridge.
We stayed there at the hotel behind Kentucky Fried Chicken .I remember that Kentucky Fried Chicken had a huge american flag fling everyday. And thats how I judged the wind ! I don't think a day went by, that flag wasn't stretched out, rippling in the wind.
People there where very friendly, and even Walmart was not as crowded, (like it is here). Hopefully oneday, I can return there. The hills there around the lakes, makes the scenery beautiful.
Mom, I think you'll work through your fears just fine ! Sounds like you have a strong will, and great family support. And thats half the battle !
I too grew up in Oklahoma and my mom had a phobia about storms. She herded us into the basement every time storms got close to us. That behavior became ingrained as I grew up to the point where my first appartment was in the basement of an appartment building so I could try and sleep through storms.
For me, reacting to storms wore off after a while and now I can enjoy watching them and sleeping through the rain and thunder. It wore off for my Mom also. After the kids were all grown she stopped worrying about the storms so much and only moves to the basement in really bad weather. Having kids at home makes you a little more sensitive to the storms, but it seems to get better when you're not responsible for keeping someone else safe. I live in Kansas now so I still have to pay attention to the storms, but the no longer make me afraid.
My wife and I have always cruised during the summer breaks so her sisters and their families could go with us. I have seen thunder storms from the ship. They are very impressive over the open ocean. The ships have allways steered around them and the most we had was cloudy skys and light rain. Most of the time we couldn't even feel the waves. When we did, the motion was slight and didn't bother us at all.
I don't think you would have too much of a problem with the storms. They are slow to form over the ocean and become fairly predictable. The ship captains will keep you out of the worst of them. Also tornados are rare in the Carribean.
If you are afraid they would still bother you, get an inside cabin. It will feel like a storm shelter and you'll be safe from all the wind and waves and most of the sounds of any storm.
It is very unlikey that storms will give the ships any problems but you may take some comfort in the fact that the new lifeboats are fully enclosed and built like tanks to handle any conditions. They are very state of the art and each has it's own radar and navigation system.
Go, enjoy your trip, feel safe. I know it is hard to talk yourself out of a phobia, but there is no reason to fear a storm on a cruise ship. You problably will not be close to any storms.
momX4--where in Massachusetts do you live? I also live in Massachusetts--Framingham.
I also have a fear of thunderstorms but my biggest fear is WIND. When the weather gets very windy, I sit in the middle of my house and try not to move. Luckily my kids never picked up on this and they are okay with it. Good thing since they both go to school in Florida at the University of Tampa. Yes, they were there for all the hurricanes last year. I was safely at home yet I was in a state of panic because of the coverage on tv about the storms. They thought the hurricanes were FUN.