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Old August 12th, 2007, 11:51 PM
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Default Moms - Help!!

OK. I have booked a 6 night cruise for myself, son and husband. The problem is my son who is 8 is not interested in going. My parents have offered to watch him. I feel 100 percent confident that they will take good care of him. But...I have never been away from him more than 1 night. Including travel to and from port I will be away from him for at least 7 nights. So....

I would love to hear any mom stories about cruising childless. I could so use a break but I am torn!!! Of course dad says son will be fine. I know he could use a break too but...he is not attached at the hip like I am. I know he would love some alone time but not if I am missing and worried about son 24/7.

Other than therapy .....any advice?

Thx
Jenny
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Old August 13th, 2007, 06:25 AM
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Wow, that is a tough one. I love cruising with my kids, but I don't know what I'd do if they really didn't want to go. But then again I don't have too many ppl I'd feel comfortable leaving my kids with, so we're in different boats in that regard. We'll be on our 6th cruise next month and they are still very excited about going.
I would be more puzzled by the kiddos reaction than anything, and want to know why he doesn't want to go.... afraid of missing an activity at home?
I also would print out a copy of the Camp Carnival Capers for his age group, some pictures of the kids club and activities and all the cool things you could all do in port together. We've been to lots of beaches, seen sharks and sting rays, pirate museums, butterfly conservatorys, shell hunts, gone to the rainforest, taken all sorts of neat tours etc...

There is nothing wrong with cruising without your child. It just offers so many opportunities for them to discover things they can't see in their own back yard. The other thing I like is that on Carnival especially, they offer programs for the kids that really do give Mom & Dad a break and offer everyone a little slice of heaven.

So really there is no wrong answer here, but I would really make sure that if he has never cruised before he understands what he might be passing up if you opt to allow him to stay home with the Grandparents.

Whatever you decide, I hope you all have a great time!
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Old August 13th, 2007, 07:07 AM
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hi brettsmom! i noticed your signature is your son autisic? not that i am trying to pry but that could make a difference on how you handle things. my brother is autisic and i can understand why you would be worried about leaving him with someone. i have an 8 year old son myself and since im a single mom we are really close. i know that my son is looking forward to camp carnival. i have showed him the different things for him to do and now he is all excited. waterslide, pee-wee golf, arcades, swimming.......
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Old August 13th, 2007, 08:44 AM
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Where are your cruising? Is it somewhere he's interested in?

Bless your heart, our kids can't wait for our next cruise! They love the camps and excursions.

Our first cruise I was apprehensive about Camp Carnival, I'm a SAHM and the kids has never been in a setting like that except on Sundays at church. They fell in LOVE as soon as they hit the door of Camp and I was at ease with the security measures!

How much input has your Ds had in planning things for the cruise? Maybe if you involve him in the excursion planning it might make a difference?

Wow, not really sure what to tell you, can't imagine someone (no matter their age) not wanting to go on a cruise!
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Old August 13th, 2007, 09:57 AM
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omg i feel your pain! I have a 23 yr old daughter (who is freaking accident prone, cars have a 6 month life expectancy!) she is watching my 10 (one month shy of 11) yr old while we cruise. Well be gone 10 days!

Its impossible to tell you how freaked i am, sometimes i forget to be freaked but then i get that feeling in my tummy like...ya know. what the heck am i doing going on a cruise without the baby.

When i was 23 i lived on my own and had a 4 yr old, so i am hoping she is mature enough to care for a kid who since i work nights has had experience taking care of himself during the day for 4 yrs now. He's very level headed but rambunction too.

he has to walk to school which is short but i dont like the cross walk, i feel its not the safest, however he has to walk even if im home, since i dont get home from work till way after school starts!

the delimna! Were doing it based on the fact my daughter is an adult. I hope were not making a mistake, i fear the call, not so much that my son will get hurt but that my daughter will get stupid (which she has several times in her life lol)

Like i said we so feel your pain, dad isnt as worried as i am, but then again he isnt MOM! in jan were taking them all, i couldnt do it again, i've already told him the romantic trip is a one time deal for the 20th annyversary, that the rest we will take the "baby" no matter what!

hugs to you! i wish my parents were younger and didnt live so far, i'd take that deal in a heart beat! (dads 90 and moms 78 or so)

i do have a few close friends who promised to check in on them daily and will be here if the emergency small or big pops up! thats my saving grace, good friends!
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Old August 13th, 2007, 10:03 AM
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This one is tough for me, because I have grown kids, an I dread the day they are not cruising with us.

I think I would encourage your child to go. Maybe the unknown is what is hold him back.

It is up to us to show our kids the world, and let them experience things.

If the first time doesn't work, then next time you will know to leave him with someone.

I work with Autism kids, so if this is your situation, there are many things on a ship, to excite and hold the interest of a special child.
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Old August 13th, 2007, 10:47 AM
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Most kids LOVE one oni one time with the grandparents, and if the are physically up to it, let them have him! You can always wait till he's older and try a shorter cruise with him. If he likes that, then you can plan a longer cruise with him in the future or just leave him with Grandma.

Otherwise, if he's interested in the activities, you may want to change your booking to 3-4 day cruise. Let him know there's a video arcade that's open 24 hours a day, etc. Just be prepared to spend time there with him if he doesn't want to participate in any camp carnival stuff. If he likes the pool, that seems to entertain a lot of the kids.

My 14 year old son had no interest in meeting other teens, he was happy to hit the video arcade or do mini golf or just wander the ship with me
when we weren't on an excursion. I will not take him on a cruise again or even offer it until he's at least 18. We're both sort of homebodies (single parent, can't afford to do much). But I'm already planning a solo cruise for myself as I want a full week to experience everything he didn't want to do (nightly shows, dining room, etc.).

It wasn't a bad trip, he said he loved it, but there weren't enough other activities to do during the day (we both felt that). We have a pool at home we never use (apt complex) and we aren't pool people.
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Old August 13th, 2007, 11:52 AM
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We normally cruise with just the two of us or with my sis and b-in-law but last year we took our grown children and 5 grandchildren (doing the same in April 2008). This was a first cruise for them and all of the GC's absolutely loved everything about the cruise and the ports. They were ages 13, 12, 9, 7, and 5 and there was plenty of things for all of them to do. They cannot wait until April to go with us again. We have a cruise terminal in Mobile and everytime the youngest one sees the ship in port she is ready to go again. So I hope that you do encourage your son to join you. Have you looked at the new Carnival website "Funship Island?" This is a great site if you look at all the areas of things to do such as Camp Carnival, the Dolphin Swin, etc.

If you just cannot reconcile him to go with you though, set up an e-mail account on-board and check in with him a couple of times a day. We always add international calling to our cell phone before cruising to keep in touch with family and our workplaces. After an emergency at home and a problem with trying to keep in touch from foreign ports or via ship phone, we have found this to be our best and most economical plan.
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Old August 13th, 2007, 12:00 PM
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Jenny,

Did he go on the Elation cruise you took?
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Old August 13th, 2007, 12:19 PM
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I have thought this over, and have changed my mind. I think you should go on the cruise, and leave your son with loved ones. It will be a great break for you, and if you stay busy, hopefully you will have a good time, without missing him to much.

Giving yourself a break will allow you to come home refreshed, and ready to take on the everyday challenges.

Good luck and have a great cruise.

Luanne
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Old August 13th, 2007, 12:51 PM
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both the parents and the child need space from each other. luanne and nothing but blue skies have some great ideas for keeping in touch too. you could even do the webcam thing so that you can actually see how hes doing. however you might want to start now with working on the separation thing for both of your peace of minds. maybe a sleepover at the grandparents then maybe a weekend. see how it goes and then decide.
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Old August 13th, 2007, 06:47 PM
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Wow! You guys are great. Thanks for all the advice and for a couple of private messages which I will respond to this evening when I have the house to myself. I will keep you up to date on what we decide.
Thx
Jenny
P.S. Keep coming with the responses!
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Old August 14th, 2007, 02:04 PM
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I know how you are feeling!!!! My husband and I are leaving in 2 weeks on our first cruise. My dd is 13 mo old and is staying with my mom and mother in law. I havent been away from her for more than 1 night.

Does anybody have any tips on being able to check on her, while im at sea? Do cell phones work at sea?
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Old August 14th, 2007, 07:09 PM
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plaugh alittle further up on this thread towards the beginning posts are some tips and info on cell phones and emails and ways to keep in touch with loved ones. hope it helps.
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Old August 14th, 2007, 08:55 PM
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I just thought of something! If it's possible, take a friend along for him!
Good luck and have a wonderful cruise!
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Old August 14th, 2007, 09:46 PM
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Why doesn't he want to go?

Is he autistic? If so, the activity and constant movement and noise may be a bit too much for him.

But mom knows what is best I am sure.
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Old August 14th, 2007, 10:41 PM
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I am leaving my four kiddos at home (ages 16 thru 5) and my dad is coming to be with them for the week that we are gone. I am looking forward to the vacation, but it will be hard to be gone from them for so long, too.

We are taking my husband's Blackberry, and I will be calling every day to check on things. But mostly I am looking forward to the break. I have never had a vacation with my husband!
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Old August 14th, 2007, 11:49 PM
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Again thanks for all the advice. I am really leaning towards taking my son with me now. Yes some of you have asked if he is autisitic. He is a "high functioning autistic child." We are still in the process of diagnosing. I'm not sure how much of a part that is playing in his wanting not to go. He has actually been going back and forth the past 2 days. Recently he has been freaking out about the weather which amazes me because he has always been really interested in weather but never scared of it...

We are sailing on the Victory and now I'm all over this new post about how horrible the Victory is. I really hope we are all not disappointed because I have been looking forward to this trip for soooo long.

You guys are all so helpful!.

Thx
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Old August 15th, 2007, 12:46 AM
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My advise is different from the majority. I think you should leave your son at home.
Oh, I think he would have a wonderful time on the cruise, but if you can go alone with your husband this time without out your son feeling left out This is the perfect time for just the two of you.
The very best thing we can do for our kids is to love their dad/mom. Day to day life can be a struggle and our spouse can sometimes feel like the last one chosen for the team.
We need to nuture our relationship with our spouse. Anything that goes without nourishment for long withers and dies.
Imagine how special you spouse will feel whe you say " I am soooo looking forward to having you all to myself!".
Then you can take lots of great pics, maybe even a picture journal for your son to help prepare him for your next "family cruise"
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