From the secret joke book of every CD: Stupid questions
I swear all the CD's use the same bunch of jokes during disembarkation speech.. They talk about the guy that forgot to leave clothes for himself and walked off with a towel and they do a list of stupid questions from stupid passengers: ENJOY
This is from a facebook group I came across:
1. What time is the midnight buffet?
2. Does the ship generate its own electricity?
3. Do these stairs go up or down?
4. How do I work the microwave in my stateroom? (Its a
5. Does this elevator take me to the back of the ship?
6. Do the crew sleep on board?
7. Will we see dolphins in the morning?
8. Can we look at the anchor? (When anchored!)
9. What will the weather be like next wednesday? (Erm - how long is a piece of string?!)
10. Can you move the lifeboat from our stateroom window?!
11. Has this ship ever sunk before? (Hmm!)
12. Is the water in the toilet salt water or fresh water? (Why dont you taste it!)
13. Which part of England are you from?..Australia??
14. Ahh - you're from Melbourne...do you know David Smith?!!
15. Why does the ship not have cable?
16. (On formal night at Captain's Cocktail) Who's driving the boat?
17. Why are we not docked (urhhh... because there's no pier??!!!)
18. I'm claustrophobic... is there any chance of an upgrade?
19. Do the lifeboats really float?
20. Why am I standing in this line?? (Well I don't know buddy, why ARE you standing in this line??)
21. (Cruise to Nowhere) When are we docking at the first port?? (Did you REALLY book this cruise yourself)??
22. What do I do with my life jacket after boat drill?? (Hmmm... lemme think...)
23. Does this elevator go to deck 4?
24. Do these stairs go up
25. Why isn't everything in the shops reduced on the last day of the cruise?
26. The orange pillows on my bed are so hard, can we get softer ones ? ( Ma'am, that will be your lifejacket )
Adventure Of The Seas 06/06
Another classic is "What do you do with the ice sculptures after they melt?"
Some cruise directors are smart mouthed and respond...
"what do you do with melted ice sculptures?' = "Oh we use the same one next week"
"Who's driving the ship?"= "Oh NO!!...We forgot about THAT"
" Does crew sleep on board?" = 'No they are GOOD swimmers"
"does ship generate own power"= "No we have a REALLY long power cord"
" Has the ship ever sank?" = "All the time, but that's why we have life insurance. You DO have life insurance, don't you?"
PAST TRIPS= Enchanted Capri
Carnival: Inspiration, Legend, Valor, Destiny, Holiday, Triumph, Splendor, Fantasy
HAL: Maasdam twice, Statendam, Oosterdam
[quote="Thoth"]Another classic is "What do you do with the ice sculptures after they melt?"Some cruise directors are smart mouthed and respond...
Ours said, "Why we turn around and put it in a bottle and sell it to you passengers for $3.50 each! And you know what? You buy it!!"
RCCL, 1992, 3 days, Empress of the Seas
CCL, 1997, 7 days, Celebration
CCL, 2007, 7 days, Legend (first family cruise)
Maybe I read this too quick but here are a few additions I don't think you had:
1) "Do we have to use US Dollars in Key West?"
"Key West, Florida?..."
"No, you pay in sea shells and sand dollars"
2) "Why does my stateroom steward keep leaving packets of butter on my pillow every night?"
3) "How do I know which photos are mine in the gallery?"
4) "Do you grow your own vegetables on board?"
Even if they are usually the same questions, it gets me every time =)
__________________ 02/20/2011 Carnival Victory (San Juan - S Carib)
07/11/2010 Carnival Freedom (W Carib)
02/13/2010 Navigator of the Seas (W Carib)
05/14/2008 Carnival Spirit (Glacier Bay - Alaska)
11/12/2007 Carnival Freedom (US Inaugural - W Carib)
02/01/2007 Celebration (Bahamas)