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Old June 26th, 2008, 12:44 PM
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Default Cruise Couple Lets Us Down

Hi, I am trying to get some feedback on a incident. We have planned a December cruise on the Pride, and originally it was just my husband and I. This is a time we love to cruise to get away from family hassles, or obligations. But we have this one couple that we are very good friends with, and have been on 2 other cruises with so far. Turned out great so I invited them, BUT explained not to invite anyone else or family. Because they have been on family reunion cruises that had issues. Long story, but she assured me and we linked our reservations and have a table for 4 in the dining room and planned an excursion together. SO

last night she tells me her husband invited their friends who they have never vacationed with to come along! I was shocked, and said why when we agreed to get away from all that, and I explained that we have friends that we like, but would never vacation with them, plus he must have forgotten this was something we orginally planned ourselves. So she said they never responded, and its probably not an issue even. I replied if they do please let them know you already made plans with another couple. Plus I think he just invited them, yikes.
It probably won't amount to anything, BUT I am still feeling miffed. And worst case senerio if they came I would still have a great cruise. Don't get me wrong, but I don't plan to be stuck with these people. It wouldn't be like other cruisers you run into people and enjoy a conversation and move on. So I just wanted to get some feedback, on what others would have done or said. I'm still feeling angry about it all. Thanks everyone!
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Old June 26th, 2008, 12:51 PM
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Yikes...Well, I have to say, I was invited to go on a cruise with my sister and her DB and his brother and wife. I am so excited to go on this cruise that i am going around asking everyone to go......Our plan is to travel together but once we get to our destination, we are going and doing our own things. Though,we may end up doing some things together, it isn't a "mandatory" thing.

I am sure everything will work out just fine for you as long as everyone understands all is out to have a great time with no string attached.

Enjoy!!

When and what ship are you sailing?
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Old June 26th, 2008, 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted by BunkoBabe
Yikes...Well, I have to say, I was invited to go on a cruise with my sister and her DB and his brother and wife. I am so excited to go on this cruise that i am going around asking everyone to go......Our plan is to travel together but once we get to our destination, we are going and doing our own things. Though,we may end up doing some things together, it isn't a "mandatory" thing.

I am sure everything will work out just fine for you as long as everyone understands all is out to have a great time with no string attached.

Enjoy!!

When and what ship are you sailing?

Thanks Pride out of Long Bch over Xmas. True we can go our own way I suppose. Just disappointing when she promised not to, and they had a bad experience with some neighbors they went on a cruise with last Jan. They were like stickly glue people, and looked and found them everywhere. Ended up eating together and being in Port together, and all we heard was how it made the cruise bad. So I'm just surprised they invited this other couple, but on a positive note, they haven't responded and if they do she can hopefully disuade them. Oh well, I am looking forward either way.
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Old June 26th, 2008, 01:26 PM
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dont worry about it... if these add ons bring you down make them not like you and they will find ways to avoid you guys and they will do their own thing... best case scenario you will make new friends, worst case you are on a cruise anyhow.. Gotta say I dont feel to sorry for you..
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Old June 26th, 2008, 04:43 PM
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Well, I think you should ask your friends not to wait for a response but rather contact their friends first and cancel their invitation. They can just let them know that they would rather vacation with them on another occasion... since your friends were invited to go with you, I don't think it was there place to invite others... especially since you specifically requested them not to.

That being said... you will have a wonderful time, and if they do end up going, don't be rude, but be straight forward... just say no, we want to be alone. (or whatever)
(just my opinion)
Have a great cruise, we are on the Pride in sept. 66 days in fact but who's counting...
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Old June 26th, 2008, 08:29 PM
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If things go through, with your friends, friends, coming along, it is going to be the couple you invited along that is going to be in the middle, and possibly not a happy camper. Couple 2 is now always between couple 1 and 3...

Say one day, you want to go to ____, your pals would like to go too, but their pals don't, and want to go ___, it will be your pals who now need to decide where to go, or not go. Bound to be some hurt feelings, I am thinking.

What if the new pals want to eat late , and you 4 are booked early say...now, will somone change?

Make it known upfront, that you are hubby are doing your own thing...If they would like to join you, fine..but the point could be moot, if they have decided not to go, by not responding. What is the time frame that couple
3 has not responded? Good luck!
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Old June 26th, 2008, 09:37 PM
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DW and I had a simular problem once. Periodically we do group cruises and we invite all who would like to attend. That took care of invited guests inviting guests. After that we book one for ourselves and are free to have that much needed alone time.
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Old June 26th, 2008, 09:52 PM
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Old June 26th, 2008, 10:17 PM
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If I could add or change anything to Mark Twain's quote instead of saying " to travel with them " I would change it to say " to cruise with them ".

Just my opinion which doesn't amount to a hill of beans but when a couple sets up a trip, cruise or otherwise and it's understood than no one else is to be invited, then to have one of the party invite another couple , in my opinion , is plain rude.

Honestly, over the years, my wife and I have found we travel better by ourselves. We aren't anti-social but have been put in some awkward situations by other people over the years so we just basically do our own thing and if someone else wants to cruise, fly to the moon or whatever, more power to 'em.
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Old June 27th, 2008, 01:21 AM
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Two's alright and three's a crowd. I know that middle feeling all too well and it's not pleasant being a go-between from various events in years past. If I were you, I'd tell the couple that you invited that you need to cancel, cancel your booking and rebook and go and enjoy yourselves alone. If the other couple asks why you went yourselves, tell them you were able to get a great last minute deal that "you couldn't refuse".....
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Old June 27th, 2008, 01:22 AM
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I understand why you are upset. Sometimes in couple one person does something (normally the hubby) without talking to the other person. It sounds like the hubby invited his friends and may not have understood the arrangement you and the wife made.

Even if that is not the case there is nothing to be done about the past. My suggestion would be to wait and see if the other couple decides to come or not. If they don't come you have no issue at all. If they do come I suggest you move your dining time. If the group has early seating change to late seating and vice versa. That means your time with the either couple will be limited and you guys could enjoy a relaxing cruise.
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Old June 27th, 2008, 07:08 AM
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it will all work out..don't continue to stress over it
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Old June 27th, 2008, 10:11 AM
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When all is said and done, I bet couple #3 don't book, so just sit back and see what happens or not. If they do, just set some ground rules, meet at dinner and if anyone wants to do an excursion, fine, if not, they are on their own. I have a feeling everything will work out, don't stress over it, just not worth it.

Do, let us know if they really book and go, OK?
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Old June 27th, 2008, 11:20 AM
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I now feel vindicated, as we invited a couple on a cruise once, and they kept meeting different people onboard and inviting them to our dinner table. After one night I said, "We're getting our own table." I personally thought it was very rude of them, but I never got any feedback. I am glad to see that most people would agree with me.
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Old June 27th, 2008, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Motter
I now feel vindicated, as we invited a couple on a cruise once, and they kept meeting different people onboard and inviting them to our dinner table. After one night I said, "We're getting our own table." I personally thought it was very rude of them, but I never got any feedback. I am glad to see that most people would agree with me.

That is very rude indeed, not to mention disruptive of your dining experience. I'm also beginning to realize some people really need to attend basic etiquette school, or something.

The funny thing is DH and I planned this together and only asked them after we booked and trusted them NOT to do this. She even said absolutely they would not invite anyone else, and we do have fun with them and have cruised with them before. Last night, I did talk to her and explained I understand her husband after a few drinks let the invite slip out...(yeah right), lol. BUT if the other couple ends up wanting to come they would need to say the plans have changed. She agreed...so thankfully I think its blown over! WHEW!

Like everyone we take our vacations seriously, and plan our cruises well ahead of time. We love to socialize with other cruisers and all but vacationing with someone is altogether different - at least what we have found.
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Old June 27th, 2008, 01:25 PM
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We cruised with another couple a few years ago...something we have never done before. But, they are good friends and had never been outside the US, so we went for it. They are joined at the hip types, we are not. So, we set down some basic "rules".
Still, in one port, the guys did a very physical tour while we 2 ladies did something less challenging. The other gal had a beauty salon appointment, so we got back on board as soon as our tour ended. I'm sitting up on the Lido, having some ice cream and her hubby comes up to me and wants to know where his wife is. I said she had an appointment, He insisted that the appointment was at a different time. He got very upset that "no one"new what had happened to his wife!
I finally told him that since I had NOT left his wife in a third world country, that it was not my problem. We're still friends, but have not travelled with them since!
Marty
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Old June 27th, 2008, 01:48 PM
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I am so glad all seems to have worked out fine....A lesson learned) I swear, rude people have NO idea they are rude!!
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Old June 28th, 2008, 02:30 AM
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Trip, as my father would say, "some people just don't get it". Bob
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Old June 28th, 2008, 12:11 PM
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i CAN sympathize in some ways. at least you're not sharing a cabin with these people. This will be my third cruise and while I like the people I am cruising with, I'd like my boyfriend and I to have a LITTLE bit of alone time. we are sharing a suite with his daughter and neice and I don't expect to see them much, although it would be nice to spend some time with them. But we have always had the understanding that even though we are cruising with other people - and this time we are having a rather large group - we don't need to be together every waking moment.

I see your point, and I know that disappointing feeling that you have, but it IS a cruise ship and ANYONE can book.

If you're lucky, they won't go. But as everyone else has stated, maybe it will turn out great. Everyone likes to have new cool friends. I thought my bf's daughter and i would never have the cool relationship we have now, and we hang out together even when he is not around.

stop stressing, they probably won't go. And if they do, and you do not like them for whatever reason, just don't hang out with them.
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Old June 29th, 2008, 06:58 PM
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No need to worry. First off, as you stated, you will enjoy yourself regardless.

We have traveled with just our family (hubby and 2 children) and then with as many as 5 families. Those who would like we sit together at dinner. If not, no biggie. And as for the trip - everyone is on their own.

We do try to have a drink together when we first get on the ship and then again on the last night. Other than that everyone has a great time.

I understand where you may be upset. You did ask and they did promise. However, sometimes excitement can cause a slip.

Hang in there and just be excited about your trip. Do not worry about what may or may not be
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Old June 30th, 2008, 10:02 AM
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One of the nice things about a cruise is that you arent "joined at the hip". I used vacation with friends in Las Vegas and we would jointly rent a car and travel together which lead at times to some fights (stop here go there etc).

Then we cruised together so if I wanted to go to say St John and my freinds wanted to go to Megans Bay we simply did our own thing Much better.
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