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Old January 13th, 2010, 06:29 PM
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Default How Many Cruisers Does It Take To..

How many cruisers does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to tell the cabin steward to change it, one to speak to the Hotel Director to ask for a shipboard credit because the bulb is burnt out. One to post a “live from” report on the web about the poor maintenance of the ship.

Can any of you add your own… How Many Cruisers Does It Take to……
Come on, let’s see your imaginations at work!
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Old January 15th, 2010, 09:49 PM
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I dont let the small things like that ruin my vacation...
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Old January 16th, 2010, 09:22 AM
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How many cruisers does it take to save a deck chair on the Lido Deck?

FOUR

One to get up at 5 A.M., and leave a towel and book on a prime deck chair.

One to "raise hell" when he comes back at 11 A.M., and someone else is in the chair

One to go to the "lost and found" to recover the towel and book!

One to go to the purser, and complain about someone "stealing" his deck chair, book, and towel!
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Old February 1st, 2010, 12:08 AM
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How many people would it take to change that light bulb if **the government** ran the cruise industry?
Passenger discovers defective light bulb and notifies cabin steward.
Cabin steward initiates form GO101 ( stateroom discrepancy report), but he is unable to sign it per regulation. That must be done by hallway custodial/maintenance liaison...Erik. Erik signs the form GO101 and hands it to documentation distribution for further action. The form is thus kicked back in that Erik isn't on the signature authorization letter. The only authorized signature allowed for hallway 6 FWD is some guy named Joe who departed the ship last month. The company must then reissue a new authorized signature listing...which normally takes 10-14 days.
New signature listing is issued, Erik signs in triplicate the GO101 and that form arrives to the maintenance manager for reviews who issues a WTH9 a work order inquiry. One week later a technician confirms that the light bulb is inoperable...as suspected. The work order is then forwarded back to maintenance manager for signature. He then issues a part order form 778 for a TXZ7-Q light-bulb. Four weeks later the TXZ7-Q arrives but it has been discovered that per regulation 2703 that the TXZ7-Q is no longer to be utilized and has been replaced by the TXU-8 "green bulb" which by the way uses more energy. The arrival of the new TXU-8 light bulbs are on bureaucratic hold due to documentation issues from the supplier. Meanwhile the whole issue has been sent to the office of quality control for review.
Once the light-bulb actually gets changed ...then and only then... will we know how many government bureaucrats it takes to change a light bulb.
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Old February 1st, 2010, 12:31 AM
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My first step when dealing with a light bulb is to make some drinks !
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Old February 1st, 2010, 07:02 PM
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sounds more like the union.
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Old February 2nd, 2010, 12:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dutchman View Post
sounds more like the union.
Get the unions involved in cruising?....oh boy !

patron: "Where's my waiter ?"
employee: "He is on his third mandatory smoke break".

patron: " My room is a mess...where's the cabin attendant?"
employee: " on union time"

patron: "The guy is a miscreant...can't he be fired?"
employee: "not without a United Nations declaration".

patron: "Where's the towel animals? When do the waiters sing ?"
employee: "New contract eliminates those things"

patron: "what's this fee on my statement for ?"
employee: "Oh that's your contribution to the corrupt politician of our choice"

Also there will be no cruises on 1-9 Feb, 30 May -14 June, 23-29 Aug, second weekend of Oct, and during the month of November due to union conventions.;-)
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Old February 2nd, 2010, 02:25 AM
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I like the idea of making some drinks, and just bring your own light bulb.8)
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Old February 2nd, 2010, 09:01 AM
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Thoth,

I need your expertise for:

1. Writing contract specs for a government contract.
2. Writing new budget requests for 2010.
3. Drafting several position descriptions for a government contract.

The worst part of what you posted is it is really true when dealing with beaucracy.

Just kidding of course. Your sense of humor is wonderful!!
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Old February 2nd, 2010, 10:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Master Chief View Post
Thoth,

I need your expertise for:

1. Writing contract specs for a government contract.
2. Writing new budget requests for 2010.
3. Drafting several position descriptions for a government contract.
Writing new budget request is simple...simply spend more money than you take in. In fiscal year 2010 one will need to find frivolous spending opportunities to consume any monetary overages. That insures more delegated incoming funds in fiscal year 2011. Use it or lose it !
In layman's terms....buy a bunch of useless office equipment & supplies.

Writing contracts and drafting positions:
In order to comply with regulations one must go on the applicable government web-site with the government issued log-in ID number. Don't have a government issued log-in ID#? Tough luck !! you are locked out of that site.
Only way to get a government issued ID # would be go that same site and request a new government issued log-in ID#...but one can't unless they already possess a government issued ID#.
By the way, the official government issued ID number should not be confused with you government issued PIN, or your government issued password. Each ID#, PIN and password will vary from site to site and change monthly. Also be advised that each must consist of lower case, upper case, numbers, and special characters and be between 8-11 digits. One should never write down any government issued ID's, PIN's, or passwords. Memorize them all. ;-)

If your have any problems call the help desk, which is open Tuesdays 9 to 1030 (MTZ), Thursdays between 1300 and 1400 (CTZ), and every third Friday during daylight savings time.
........Or go online at the applicable government web site....please have your ID number, PIN, and password handy.
Since the world is now going paperless, it is advisable to print a hard-copy of all transactions...in other words put plenty of paper in the printer.
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Old February 3rd, 2010, 01:57 AM
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Oh come on... My procedure was simple - first make drinks. Everything after that is relative.
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Old February 3rd, 2010, 03:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zydecocruiser View Post
Oh come on... My procedure was simple - first make drinks. Everything after that is relative.
That's right. If you and me ran the world things would go much simpler. Who Dat !!
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