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  #1 (permalink)  
Old May 18th, 2005, 01:38 PM
Claudia
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Default Formal night attire faux pas ?

After having just read months and months of postings regarding the "proper" attire
for formal nights on cruise ships, I have 2 comments to make. And one of them is
important.
1) Relatives of mine (who are barely making ends meet) received a gift from their
children for their 50th wedding anniversary. The kids, none of whom had ever been on a cruise before, saved and scaped together the money to send their parents on this holiday because the parents had never really been anywhere. My cousin, and her husband, were in a state over what to bring for clothing, and were especially upset over their lack of "fancy clothes." I've been on several cruises, so I told them to bring what they had and not to worry about what other people wore. To make a long story short, they came back ECSTATIC over the wonderful time they had and the lovely people they met. They're still telling anyone who will listen about their vacation and their wonderful children who sent them on it! Had they had access and knowledge of how to get on this website, they might have decided against going on the cruise, simply because a bunch of snobs said they must "dress up!"

2) We were on an Alaskan cruise and our tablemates were from Texas. Every night she was dressed to the hilt, and he came most nights in a pair of shorts. He wore long pants, but no tie or shirt, on the formal nights. She was a doll, he was a jerk. They were also loaded, owned several businesses.

So.......maybe what clothes are worn is a situational decision, and we shoul all mind our own business.
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Old May 18th, 2005, 02:25 PM
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Default Re: Formal night attire faux pas ?

What a truly beautiful gift! I'm sure they were pampered by the crew like they deserved, and I'm glad the whole "formal night" business didn't affect them negatively. I personally LIKE to dress up, because it's a nice chance for my husband and I to get some memorable photos as a couple.
I met a lady on our first cruise at lunch one day who had won hers on the Price Is Right! I thought that was so awesome! I've always wondered if those winners really get what's shown. They had been given a suite and were having the vacation of a lifetime!

Galaxy - Panama Canal
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Old May 18th, 2005, 04:32 PM
big apple
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Default Re: Formal night attire faux pas ?

The dress code is only a suggestion by the cruise line however I do find fault with those who go totally against this and wear shorts in the dining room at nite.Am sure anyone could at least come up with a coat and tie for the 2 formal nites.In my opinion thereis a big difference in the above situations.There are alternatives for those who can not get out of their wonderful stylish shorts for a couple of hrs.
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Old May 18th, 2005, 05:21 PM
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Default Re: Formal night attire faux pas ?

The example sighted does clearly display the addage.. "you can't judge a book by it's cover."

BUT.. on a cruise ship the ambience of the ship and the cruise experience is created by more than just the decor. That's the purpose of the cruise line in having "suggested dress codes".

I don't believe it's exactly what the person is or isn't wearing which offends other passengers. It's the attitude of the passenger, that they'll dress how they choose because they can, with total disregard for anyone else on the ship.

In my view it's not those upset with what people are wearing who are the snobs. It's those who disregard the suggested dress code who are the snobs, showing total disrespect to their fellow passengers.

It would be simpler if the cruise line's enforced their own dress codes, but they don't want to offend a paying passenger... and that "opens the door" to those "those" snobs who take advantage.

No one has to show up in tuxedos and sequined gowns on formal night, but at the same time I don't image there are many people who don't have a sports coat & tie, and a nice cocktail dress in their closet.
You don't have to be rich to dress nicely with SO MANY clothing discount stores a couple can be dressed appropriately for $100.

On a cruise the old adage .... clothes make the man... also holds true. Not by how fancy or expensive the clothes are, but by the respect the act of dressing appropriately displays towards the other passengers.

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Old May 18th, 2005, 06:08 PM
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Default Re: Formal night attire faux pas ?

Well said Kuki. Although dressing up is considered the "norm" on formal nights, I certainly won't judge someone else unless I was "in their shoes". We did a 7 night cruise with a couple we met previously on an earlier cruise. When they realized that their luggage was lost, they had only the clothes on their backs, plus a few things in their carry-on. Thanks to a few kind-hearted employees on the Veendam, they were at least able to borrow a few items and change. Their luggage wasn't delivered to them until the next-to-last day. They did go to the first formal night dressed very casual, but kept a very positive attitude. BTW, my DW and I enjoy dressing up for formal nights, but realize some folks just don't have the resources to buy formalwear. Sadly, many choose just to ignore the "suggested" apparel. Clothes don't make the man (or woman); character does.

Regards...Bob
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Old May 20th, 2005, 05:25 PM
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Default Re: Formal night attire faux pas ?

"In my view it's not those upset with what people are wearing who are the snobs. It's those who disregard the suggested dress code who are the snobs, showing total disrespect to their fellow passengers."

I couldn't agree with Kuki more.

The way a person views him/her self is often reflected in the way they dress. Their respect or lack of regard for others is also shown. Now, we are not talking about having fancy expensive clothes, but wearing clothes that are appropriate for the occasion.

For example, if you were invited to eat at the Captain's table on a formal night...would you show up dressed in super casual clothes? I think not! Well, shouldn't we show that same respect for our fellow table guest?

We have become a very casual society...some setting aside dressing up even for the most formal of events, because they feel they don't have too. Perhaps this has had a somewhat of a backlash effect, the growing lack of good manners and common courtesy we are witnessing.

Of course there can be unusual circumstances and exceptions...lost luggage, etc. But on the whole that's not everyone's reason.

On all the cruises we've been on...the formal nights were very, very nice. Everyone dressed nice...NOT ALL dressed in formal wear. Some wore dark sports jackets and slakes..the women nice pant suites or dresses. But all were dressed appropriate for the occasion. We found that it made the evening and dinner very special.

If on formal night one doesn't want to dress up...there are other eatting venues besides the dining room they can take adventage of.
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Old May 21st, 2005, 06:58 AM
AR
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Default Re: Formal night attire faux pas ?

I'm one of those who believes that people should stick to the suggested dress for each evening, and abide by whatever dress code is published.

I don't know how many of you live in a world where you go to social events that aren't aboard a ship. I do. The invitations frequently state things such as "Business Attire," or "Casual," or (horror of horrors!) "Black Tie." It never occurs to me to think that I should dress some other way. My tux fits fine, as do my other clothes. I'm comfortable in all of them. What on earth is the big deal about simply adhering to a dress request? It's one of the elementary social graces, and is not a difficult thing to do. As Kuki said very well, it's easy even for people who don't normally dress to outfit themselves perfectly well for a cruise for very little money.

And on cruises, it's perfectly easy to do a little research and find a line that doesn't require "fancy" clothes, if that's a big issue for you. It's no secret that some lines are a little more formal than others.

I would never consider showing up at a black tie event in a sport coat, or at a business attire event in Dockers or jeans. I dress as requested to honor the spirit of the event, my hosts, and my fellow merrymakers. I don't spend time worrying about what I can get away with, because it's perfectly easy to jump into clothes that fill the bill.

I enjoy being with ladies and gentlemen who don't feel a need to make a "personal statement" by dressing down. I find that dressing appropriately is a sign of maturity and I honor that.
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Old May 21st, 2005, 04:46 PM
big apple
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Default Re: Re: Formal night attire faux pas ?

you could not have said it better.It makes you wonder how some of these people would show up at a formal wedding.
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Old June 21st, 2005, 07:15 PM
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Default Re: Formal night attire faux pas ?

My husband and I enjoyed dressing up--really was special for our honeymoon. We went to Bermuda, and two men at the same table kept insisting on dressing in the traditional Bermuda attire (Bermuda shorts and knee socks). It was cute the first time, annoying the second time and insulting on the formal night (even though one of the men added a jacket to his shorts and knee socks). I know it is the tradition, but come on...!
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Old June 22nd, 2005, 09:53 AM
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Default Re: Formal night attire faux pas ?

I have to say I am glad to have a dress code or clothing suggestion. Itís in the brochures simply because so many people go on their first cruise and have lots of questions. Simplely people donít know how to act or relax on their first visit anywhere. I would not have a clue what to wear to an opera or to see a Broadway play, Iíve never been. Sometimes I donít know how to comfortably dress going to someones home for the first time. I do have to say the shorts for diner, more than a faux pas, it just unacceptable, the daily news on ship even says no shorts after 6pm. Iím born and raised in Texas and they will show there butts and money, when they really donít have any. Iím taking my brother on his first cruise and Iím trying to make him comfortable about his clothing at diner, if I donít heíll eat at the buffet every night. Yes I do wear a tux on formal nights and a suit on other no formals and dress down on causal nights. It one reason I love to cruise.
John

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