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  #1 (permalink)  
Old March 16th, 2001, 08:03 PM
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Default ROFLMAO.. had to share

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right
in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder.
This evidently pissed the driver off enough, that he hung out his window
and pissed the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself I
ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does
anything to me in traffic and here's why.

I drive 38 miles each way every day to work, that's 76 miles. Of these,
16 each way, is bumper-to-bumper, most of the bumper-to-bumper is on 8 lane
highway. So if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I
pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every
40
feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424
cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper to bumper, I
figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to
something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.
Statistically half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000. In any
given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying
or unrewarding, that's 449.

According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide, that's 98, and 34% describe men
as their biggest problem, that's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that,
has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously
considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period and
is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of pissing her off
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Old March 16th, 2001, 08:16 PM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

Kuki,
ROFLMAO!!! Definately something to think about while driving to work!



Donnassei
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Old March 16th, 2001, 08:53 PM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

Kuki what does ROFLMAO stand for?
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Old March 16th, 2001, 09:00 PM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

Pat,
ROFLMAO= rolling on floor laughing my ass off :-)

Donnassei
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Old March 16th, 2001, 09:58 PM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

That was one of the best I have heard in a while Kuki. I do have two points though: 1) most of the cars you pass also pass you and when you pass them again, you shouldn't count them again, and 2) also according to Cosmo, men go through monthly cycles similar to women, which is probably why the guy in the pick-up truck responded the way he did.
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Old March 16th, 2001, 10:04 PM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

Heather,
That is so true, why is it always the women that get the rap for "going through monthly cycles"?

Donnassei
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Old March 16th, 2001, 11:02 PM
gogetter
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

Hello,



...and you had or took the time to figure this all out huh ?...How long did it take you ?

ANd whats your next project ????????????????

OO
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Old March 17th, 2001, 12:30 PM
AR
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

Being a man who doesn't read Cosmo, I'm surprised to hear about our monthly cycles. I never knew.

How do I know when it's "my time," and are there any special sanitary products I should be considering?
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Old March 17th, 2001, 03:39 PM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

That is true men do have many "cycles" every month.
1> male reaction/addaption to the female pre/post symdromes.
2>when the full moon rises men sort of go into a panic situation; this is the best time to be fishing. If men dont have a fishing pole in the water at this time it is very depresing. This has something to do with the hunter/gatherer instinct of the male of the species.
3>during the months of September - January, men have a weekly "cycle". Its football season. Males can be happy or sad/mad for weeks at a time, depending on how their favorite team is doing.
4>during the months of April - October it can become even worse. Its baseball season. Moods can swing daily based on how well their favorite team is doing.
Symtoms will be more intense as World Series approaches.
5>during winter months in cold climates men also suffer . They are unable to Barbecue; one of mens favorite cooking styles.
Unfortunately there is not enough funding available to really study all the causes of cycles men face at any given time.
So as you can see, a male can be entrenched in many cycles at the same time.
When you toss in the strains of daily life, work, finances etc.. it becomes a daily battle. Give a man a hug today and let him know how much you care. The only cure at this time is to let men act like boys periodically, its good for their health.
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Old March 17th, 2001, 04:29 PM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

Since this has turned, a bit, into a discussion of the differences between men and women, here's a link to an article posted awhile back, which I wrote on the subject, as it applies to cruising

<http://www.cruisemates.com/articles/cruiseguide/hum-op/men-women.cfm>

Regards,
Kuki
Features Editor
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Old March 17th, 2001, 05:47 PM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

Hi Pat,
Wow, those cycles for men are just so true, thanks for spelling them out for us :-)

Donnassei
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Old March 18th, 2001, 09:21 PM
rsawick
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

I note disdainfully that the females are chortling this thread. Secretly, I think they know that the problem is that they have cooties.
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Old March 19th, 2001, 12:18 AM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

rsawick - Actually you may have inadvertently come across an idea of interest to some of the male persuasion. That is to say men may deem themselves to be outnumbered here. The misconceptions of the gender gap being what they are, perhaps it would be a good idea to start a new thread entitled "for men only." In that way we could exchange our true feelings without, well you know, interference from "the other people."
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Old March 19th, 2001, 09:52 PM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

um let me just tell ya that I can really laugh at this............i am just a teenager...........but at least i know when i grow old i won't lose my sense of humor! It is great to see adults talking about eachother having cooties!!!! haha!
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Old March 29th, 2001, 01:24 AM
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Default Re: ROFLMAO.. had to share

kuki,
just loved your "Men are from Carnival..." article. This is soooo...True! Since booking our 1st family cruise last Oct.(we leave Dec.15, 2001) many nights I check out cruisemates & other cruise sites, arming myself w/all sorts of tips & tidbits, my husbands response is "I could be dead by then", so I told him that's ok, I'm sure I can find someone else to take your place on the cruise.
Thank u to all messengers on this thread, I needed the laughs.
Elcee
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