Go Back   CruiseMates Cruise Community and Forums > People > Chit - Chat for Cruisers
Register Forgot Password?

Chit - Chat for Cruisers Open Forum for non-cruise posts. Please refrain from inflammatory rhetoric that could be considered offensive. We reserve the right to edit or delete for any reason.

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old July 1st, 2001, 11:34 PM
Kuki's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Right here :)
Posts: 22,500
Send a message via AIM to Kuki
Default Favorite Cruise Jokes

I'm sure we've all "heard them all"; all the old cruise jokes from Cruise Directors and comedians. But, do u have any favorites?

My favorite, which keeps popping into my head (god only knows why)
is about the passenger who calls the Purser's desk and asks how he can get out of his cabin.
The Purser tells him to just open the door and walk out.
The passengers says his cabin only has two doors.. one leads to the bathroom, and the other has a Do Not Disturb sign on it.

I still ROFLMAO when I think of it :o)

Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old July 2nd, 2001, 01:06 AM
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,238
Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

I will ask Queeg to back through the photo albums.

We have one that says "Upper Deck" with an arrow pointing down.

It's very cool that we can just slug a photo in on this board. A very nice feature.

Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old July 2nd, 2001, 06:49 AM
Mgram's Avatar
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Greater Tampa Bay area (south of the BIG BRIDGE!)
Posts: 2,822
Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

This isn't a cruise joke...but the only GOOD joke told by a particular comedian on our last cruise...won't mention his name:

"My wife is very thrifty. She tells me I am going to be cremated.....she has a coupon....(ready for this?)

Only problem is, it has an expiration date!"

That was a DEPENDS moment for me...and I could not catch my breath and the tears rolled. One of these days I will learn to wear waterproof makeup to these cruise shows.

Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old July 2nd, 2001, 11:04 AM
Paul Motter's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: in my office!
Posts: 11,008
Send a message via AIM to Paul Motter
Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

My favorite line:

My cabin steward is unbelievable, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and when I came back my bed was made!
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old July 3rd, 2001, 07:46 AM
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

I have a cartoon hanging in my office that shows a sinking cruise ship with the passengers in lifeboats. The caption under it says, "It figures, one more square and I would have had BINGO!"
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old July 4th, 2001, 01:52 PM
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

John Heald of Carnival used to tell the story of a man throwing a fit at the pursers desk moments after boarding while the ship is still docked for embarkation in Miami. John tries to intervene and finds out the man is just furious because he is supposed to have an ocean view cabin. John asks for the deck plans, finds the man's cabin and points out to him that he indeed has a window...to which the man replies, "yeah, but all I can see is the parking lot!"

Susan Woods of HAL likes to tell the crowd..."you know you look clean, but you laugh dirty."

Ship officer on Maasdam was trying to help us with a drink trivia. We thought we had the correct order of salt-tequilla-lime and he was just adament that we were wrong. After disagreeing for a while he finally gaves us the correct answer..."first, you sign for the drink...then salt-tequilla-lime!" We won the trivia by the way!
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old August 30th, 2015, 03:43 AM
Frederico's Avatar
Junior Member
Familiar Face
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 12

Three friends - two straight guys and a gay guy - and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned.
They each had to come before St. Peter to be admitted into heaven.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife.
St. Peter shook his head sadly.
"I can't let you in. You loved money too much.
You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."
Then came the second straight guy.
"Sorry, can't let you in, either." said St. Peter. "You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously...
"It's not looking good for us Dick."

source: Cruise Jokes | Funny Humor by Joke Buddha
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old August 31st, 2015, 12:06 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: So. California
Posts: 1,604

On one of our cruises the cruise director was doing his routine and he said, If something ever happened onboard where the water supply had to be shut off I'll give you two reasons why you shouldn't drink the water that's left in the toilet. He said #1 and #2.

Liberty OTS 4/2018
Symphony OTS 11/2018
Navigator OTS 12/2018
Adventure OTS 3/2019
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old September 4th, 2015, 11:38 AM
katlady's Avatar
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: On the lido deck with drink of the day
Posts: 13,392

"The sign over the toilet says 'Don't put bulky objects in the toliet' then they feed you 24-7 how do they expect you not be put anything bulky in there???"
That made me laugh.
One part age; three parts liquor!

Freedom of the Seas 2012
Carnival Splendor 2010
Carnival Freedom 2008
Carnival Elation 2007
Celebrity Infinity 2006
Carnival Ecstasy 2005
Carnival Paradise 2004
Star Princess 2002
Viking Serenade 1994
Reply With Quote


cabin, comedians, cruise, cruises, cruising, disturb, door, gay, joke, jokes, joking, people, ship, sign, steward

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Jokes BetWes Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs 0 November 5th, 2009 06:46 AM
50 Jokes katlady Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs 3 December 3rd, 2008 07:31 PM
Jokes mehawk Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs 9 September 25th, 2007 04:38 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:23 AM.
design by: Themes by Design

Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1