I'm sure we've all "heard them all"; all the old cruise jokes from Cruise Directors and comedians. But, do u have any favorites?
My favorite, which keeps popping into my head (god only knows why)
is about the passenger who calls the Purser's desk and asks how he can get out of his cabin.
The Purser tells him to just open the door and walk out.
The passengers says his cabin only has two doors.. one leads to the bathroom, and the other has a Do Not Disturb sign on it.
John Heald of Carnival used to tell the story of a man throwing a fit at the pursers desk moments after boarding while the ship is still docked for embarkation in Miami. John tries to intervene and finds out the man is just furious because he is supposed to have an ocean view cabin. John asks for the deck plans, finds the man's cabin and points out to him that he indeed has a window...to which the man replies, "yeah, but all I can see is the parking lot!"
Susan Woods of HAL likes to tell the crowd..."you know you look clean, but you laugh dirty."
Ship officer on Maasdam was trying to help us with a drink trivia. We thought we had the correct order of salt-tequilla-lime and he was just adament that we were wrong. After disagreeing for a while he finally gaves us the correct answer..."first, you sign for the drink...then salt-tequilla-lime!" We won the trivia by the way!
Three friends - two straight guys and a gay guy - and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned.
They each had to come before St. Peter to be admitted into heaven.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife.
St. Peter shook his head sadly.
"I can't let you in. You loved money too much.
You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."
Then came the second straight guy.
"Sorry, can't let you in, either." said St. Peter. "You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously...
"It's not looking good for us Dick."
On one of our cruises the cruise director was doing his routine and he said, If something ever happened onboard where the water supply had to be shut off I'll give you two reasons why you shouldn't drink the water that's left in the toilet. He said #1 and #2.