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Old July 2nd, 2001, 12:34 AM
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Default Favorite Cruise Jokes

I'm sure we've all "heard them all"; all the old cruise jokes from Cruise Directors and comedians. But, do u have any favorites?

My favorite, which keeps popping into my head (god only knows why)
is about the passenger who calls the Purser's desk and asks how he can get out of his cabin.
The Purser tells him to just open the door and walk out.
The passengers says his cabin only has two doors.. one leads to the bathroom, and the other has a Do Not Disturb sign on it.

I still ROFLMAO when I think of it :o)

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Old July 2nd, 2001, 02:06 AM
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Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

I will ask Queeg to back through the photo albums.

We have one that says "Upper Deck" with an arrow pointing down.

It's very cool that we can just slug a photo in on this board. A very nice feature.

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Old July 2nd, 2001, 07:49 AM
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Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

This isn't a cruise joke...but the only GOOD joke told by a particular comedian on our last cruise...won't mention his name:

"My wife is very thrifty. She tells me I am going to be cremated.....she has a coupon....(ready for this?)

Only problem is, it has an expiration date!"

That was a DEPENDS moment for me...and I could not catch my breath and the tears rolled. One of these days I will learn to wear waterproof makeup to these cruise shows.

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Old July 2nd, 2001, 12:04 PM
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Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

My favorite line:

My cabin steward is unbelievable, I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and when I came back my bed was made!
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Old July 3rd, 2001, 08:46 AM
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Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

I have a cartoon hanging in my office that shows a sinking cruise ship with the passengers in lifeboats. The caption under it says, "It figures, one more square and I would have had BINGO!"
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Old July 4th, 2001, 02:52 PM
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Default Re: Favorite Cruise Jokes

John Heald of Carnival used to tell the story of a man throwing a fit at the pursers desk moments after boarding while the ship is still docked for embarkation in Miami. John tries to intervene and finds out the man is just furious because he is supposed to have an ocean view cabin. John asks for the deck plans, finds the man's cabin and points out to him that he indeed has a window...to which the man replies, "yeah, but all I can see is the parking lot!"

Susan Woods of HAL likes to tell the crowd..."you know you look clean, but you laugh dirty."

Ship officer on Maasdam was trying to help us with a drink trivia. We thought we had the correct order of salt-tequilla-lime and he was just adament that we were wrong. After disagreeing for a while he finally gaves us the correct answer..."first, you sign for the drink...then salt-tequilla-lime!" We won the trivia by the way!
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Old August 30th, 2015, 04:43 AM
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Three friends - two straight guys and a gay guy - and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned.
They each had to come before St. Peter to be admitted into heaven.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife.
St. Peter shook his head sadly.
"I can't let you in. You loved money too much.
You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."
Then came the second straight guy.
"Sorry, can't let you in, either." said St. Peter. "You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously...
"It's not looking good for us Dick."

source: Cruise Jokes | Funny Humor by Joke Buddha
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Old August 31st, 2015, 01:06 PM
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On one of our cruises the cruise director was doing his routine and he said, If something ever happened onboard where the water supply had to be shut off I'll give you two reasons why you shouldn't drink the water that's left in the toilet. He said #1 and #2.

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Old September 4th, 2015, 12:38 PM
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"The sign over the toilet says 'Don't put bulky objects in the toliet' then they feed you 24-7 how do they expect you not be put anything bulky in there???"
That made me laugh.
One part age; three parts liquor!

Freedom of the Seas 2012
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