The story goes like this...custom made cruise

These are the neatest stories! I draw a total blank and have not got the talent to add to them - just wanted to compliment you all. I am so impressed by your imaginations and humor. Looks like more than one author hangs out here at cruisemates.

[pamda]

JulieJoe ---

I plead guilty.

pamda -- CM First Time Cruisers Editor

...but after pleading guilty your lawyers file an appeal on the grounds of......(your turn)...lol...

temporary insanity caused by an imbalance of the inner ear sustained from prolonged exposure to oceanic bilateral motion. The center for "OBM" has issued this warning.......

[Joschmo]

WARNING: Extended exposure to OBM has resulted in various side effects, most detrimiental to the OBN who has also consulted with the GYN arm of the AMA. For more detailed information, consult your local ABA chapter of the CMB. Further, it has been determined that the temporary insanity will abate with further prolongation, but only if .....

(oh lordy -- somebody tell me to shut my computer and go home!)

joanne

[Paul Motter]

You stuff your ears with raw potatos, gargle with chamomile tea and baking soda, take four tablets of occillococinium and Gonko Biloba, hold your head at a 55 degree angle regardless of whether you are standing, sitting or laying down, and alternate saying "there's no place like home" with "I do believe in fairies" ad finitum and ad nauseum until you see signs of...

[pamda]

The Jolly Green Giant.

He says to you ....

[Paul Motter]

Ho ho ho (what else?)

In the Valley of the Jolly Green Giant

...as the liliputians come out dancing and a wicked warlock comes out and waves a magical wand over you to send you back to .........

Never Never Land where.......

your travel agents office! You find all the phones off the hook and she is totally devoted to you. She shows you videos of each ship you're interested in...even the one's that aren't in the water yet. You can see your cabin, your butler, your massuese...it's all there! You can preselect your weather and fellow passengers too! With all of these options you decide to pick........................

[Judi]

the 100 day world voyage in the owner's suite where you get to pick the itinerary each night for the following day. And the special price for this one time only offer is.....

...one dollar........of which will be refunded to you at the end of the cruise..and then the T/A says......

You get your choice of traveling companion, and you choose........

Tom Brokaw because you have always wanted to see him.........

in a speedo, lying out by the pool; but then you decided that........

[Bonnie]

You would rather have Harrison Ford and his helicopter. He comes by and whisks you off to the top of the mountain in.............

...Vienna where you enjoy a chalet, and more Dom Perignon.......

and running up into the mountains, flinging out your arms and singing "The hlls are alive, with the sound of............."

..you suddenly realize, this isn't the man for you. He would have realized that you have saltwater in your veins, not edelweiss in your hair. You ski down the mountain and take the next the orient express to.....

[Paul Motter]

shanghai where you are picked up by a ricshaw driver who takes you to an oriental herbalist to makes you tea from...

[Joschmo]

frog legs soaked in aromatic seaweed, which immediately causes you to

[Mgram]

break out in yellow and purple spots and have erotic dreams about......

Kermit the frog...yuck. It wakes you up with a start and you realize your ship is going to leave for a cruise of the Orient. You catch a rickshaw, when suddenly.....

[Paul Motter]

Shanghai ricshaw drivers, that guy knew what he was doing because he was a graduate of the tourism institute of China with a special degree in...

[nieciez]

Accupunture....he gives you a treatment for your OBM which you are now cured of. So, now you can.................

[Joschmo]

lay back, enjoy those grapes being presented to you on a silver platter, and turn towards Mel and say ... oy mate, where's the .....