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  #1 (permalink)  
Old July 26th, 2001, 02:53 PM
PropellerHead
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Default More signs your on a really bad cruise.

>Cruise Directors favorite game is the sleeping contest.
>Inside economy cabin turns out to be an old broom closet.
>The orchestra only knows the theme from Jaws.
>The balcony outside your cabin turns out to be a painters scaffold.
>Capt loses keys for ship and asks if anyone knows how to hot wire a cruise ship.
>Fancy bottled water - imported from Mexico.
>Left-over WW2 K-rations on the lido buffett.
>Cargo containers on deck really block the sun shine.
>Next stop Bermuda (triangle).
>Kuki is NOT onboard!
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old July 26th, 2001, 03:29 PM
nieciez's Avatar
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Locust Grove VA (20 miles West of Fredericksburg VA)
Posts: 1,588
Default Re: More signs your on a really bad cruise.

Keep them coming!

DeniseZ
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old July 26th, 2001, 04:20 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 250
Default Re: More signs your on a really bad cruise.

Announcement is made that the ship will be underway once everyone has their seat belts on.

Ship radio only receives AM.

Today's puzzle is who can spy land first -- and how to get us there.

Lobsters are too happy to jump into their pot.

Your prize is one oar.

Purser makes announcement requesting anyone who can change a $20 bill.

When you're in port, the natives laugh when you tell them your cruise ship and give YOU money.

Entertainment: you're given a sombrero & to the tune of "La Cucaracha," you're requested to stomp out the bugs.
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Old July 26th, 2001, 07:50 PM
Aaron
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Default Re: More signs your on a really bad cruise.

THE CREW DOES NOT SLEEP ABOARD!

THE CAPTAIN WAS LAST ON THE KURSK (GRIGORY LUYICHIN)

YOU SEE THE CHEF AT TACO BELL IN NASSAU

AIRLINE BAGS ARE SPACED OUT ON THE RAILINGS EVERY 2 FEET OR SO, INSIDE!
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Old July 26th, 2001, 08:00 PM
Senior Member
First Mate
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 250
Default Re: More signs your on a really bad cruise.

or......

Wine Tasting consists of a variety of Thunderbird and Boone's Farm Wine.

Dinner menu consists of "You Stab 'Em, We Slab 'Em"; you can eat all the fish you can catch.

As you're walking on the deck, you see your room steward coming toward you in your bathrobe.

Your balcony "wraps around" the anchor.
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Old July 26th, 2001, 09:39 PM
Chyna_C
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Default Re: More signs your on a really bad cruise.

The Purser's Desk is made out of left over daily news papers.

The TVs are all Black and White with no sound.

The tenders are rubber tires haning off the side of the ship.

The life boat drill is really, "where is the life boat" and part of a scavenger hunt game.

The dice in the casino are made of sugar cubes.

The ship's doctor's supply of penecillin comes from scraping mold off the cheese at the midnight buffet.

There is a wake as you pull away from the peir, complete with mourners and a priest performing last rites for the ship.

The daily aerobics class is getting to row the boat for 45 minutes.

The beautician in the beauty salon looks like the "big haired lady" from the Longhorn Steakhouse commercials.

You tip the captain in hopes of making it back to home port.

This is fun
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Old July 26th, 2001, 11:40 PM
PropellerHead
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Default Re: More signs your on a really bad cruise.

>Tug boats push ship around for entire cruise.
>Your luggage ends up on a different ship and has a better time than you did.
>Glass bottom cruise ship so capt doesnt hit a sand bar.
>Your ship hits a time warp and you end up cruising New York City sewer system for a week.
>Your ship is so slow that you leave for a new years cruise and get back on Christmas. Hey wait that sound pretty good!!!
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old July 27th, 2001, 02:52 AM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 5,238
Default Re: More signs your on a really bad cruise.

This thread tests even MY imagination.

And that's going some.

Neither Captain nor harbor pilot share a common language. No translator on board.

Chef is German and so is the Social Hostess. "You VILL have a gut time !!! and you VILL eat eversing on jour plate !!!"

There are feral cats released to run the halls at 3 AM.

Hired seagulls poop on the Lido Deck, aiming straight at your Lido Burger.

I think that is enough.
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old July 28th, 2001, 12:07 PM
Senior Member
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 157
Default Re: More signs your on a really bad cruise.

The Ultimate

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