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Old November 11th, 2001, 12:49 AM
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Default Duct Tape Uses on a Cruise

Duct tape has 1001 uses on a Cruise:

1/ Hemming and repairing clothing... suggest black tape
2/ Repairs just about anything broken
3/ Keeps that lumpy, bulging coil inside the mattress, where it belongs
4/ Keeps your stuff secure in rough seas, especially on the table/make-up counter.
5/ Fixes the thermostat (by covering the vent) or sealing beneath the door
6/ Can be used to identify luggage (I suggest a huge black X)
7/ Invaluable for impromptu costumes on theme nights
8/ Put tape on the back of your sneakers and shoes to reduce friction/blisters
9/ If you tear your inseam on formal night, use black duct tape... people will never notice, or think you are wearing fashionable black underwear!
10/ In order to avoid getting lost on the ship, leave a trail of duct-tape pieces behind you. The crew will remember you forever....
11/ Can be used to save seats (suggest yellow "Police Line, Do Not Cross", "Biohazard" or "Danger High Voltage" design)
12/ The roll can be used as a cup-holder (less stable as roll depletes)
13/ Lay horizontal strips on "saved" deck chairs adhesive side up. They're almost invisible on white vinyl. Then everyone will know who the chair hogs are by their distinctive zebra-like pattern. You can also substitute 2-sided sticky tape here, and come back at 3 a.m. to hold a buffet plate just out of reach of the now-starving inconsiderates.
14/ Can be used to keep closet and bathroom doors from moving in high seas
15/ Tape allows you to play many more bingo cards than table space will allow. It can also prevent "hanging chads" from accidentally re-closing.
16/ Mark your cabin door with tape... they all look alike. Ditto "your" deck chair. The bigger the X the better. Then people will "know".
17/ Use a piece of tape across the arms of your sunglasses behind your head to keep them from falling off. Exercise care when removing.
18/ Tape your "Coconut Drink" to the railing, so it does not fall off and impact someone else's unsuspecting coconut below.
19/ Tape your cutlery to the bottom of your plate, to free up your second hand for possibly more food in the buffet line...
20/ Can very quickly turn a plain white t-shirt into a striped one. (Fashion clue: Vertical stripes are slimming)
21/ Keeps deck furnishings from moving around on your balcony.
22/ Allows you to make "really, really good" towel animals. Show up your cabin steward.
23/ Can be used to darken the window if your curtains are too opaque.
24/ Put tape on the bottom of your shoes, so you can waltz easily, even on carpet
25/ Mark your muster station with a great big X, or even better, your initials, so you can be absolutely positive you are at the right one... it's a security thing. Ditto your life jackets, in case somebody should try to steal yours. Mark your territory.
26/ Put a strip across the coin slot of your favorite slot machine, to prevent others from hitting that jackpot that you are SO due.
27/ Put tape over the elevator sensor, so the door will not close. You will never wait for an elevator again, because one will always be stuck on your floor. Too bad if people above are waiting because the computer has assigned your elevator as the "up" one. They need the exercise.
28/ You can employ duct tape to replace lost fashion accessories (requires a little time, but looks almost passable) like purses, belts, ties and wallets.
29/ Secretly cover the lens of your relatives'/friends' video cameras with black tape. The less incriminating evidence once you get home, the better.
30/ Duct tape makes an excellent tie clip, to keep your tie out of your soup.
31/ Put duct tape over the bottom of your waiter's pepper shaker... he'll never figure it out.
32/ Use duct tape to cover the karaoke microphones when it's your turn to sing. Very sanitary, and muffles the screeching and howling remarkably well.
33/ During the bridge visit, tape the various knobs and switches in whatever position you feel like. Make the Captain's day a memorable one.
34/ Place a loop of tape on your bottom while riding in the shore tenders. If the swells are high, everyone else slides. You don't.
35/ Can be used to identify which drinks are yours on the table. They're the ones wrapped in duct tape. Features additional R-value insulation for frozen drinks and beer cans.
36/ Forget your swimsuit? No problem, duct tape. (Ouch) At least you can temporarily fix any problems with the figure... Or add to it....
37/ Make your belongings theft-proof on the beach. Several layers of duct tape are as good as a padlock and chain.
38/ Make yourself swim-fins out of duct tape. Just start taping around your toes and move outwards. Make them as big as you want.
39/ Put duct tape on the soles of your feet to protect from the sharp coral you might encounter at the beach.
40/ Twist tape repeatedly around itself to make a rope. Use it to rope off your favorite deck chairs, dining table, etc... and look important.
41/ Avoid the line-up before the show. Use a small piece to cover the gender plaque on the restroom door. Draw on the appropriate stick figure. Men: change ALL the restrooms to male and stand back. Far back.
42/ Can be employed to almost permanently solve that argument as to whether the toilet seat belongs in the up, or down position. Loser suffers in silence, and discomfort.
43/ Tightly twist a few 12" lengths of black tape. Makes convincing, self-adhesive dreadlocks for the island party, just hang under any hat. Answer all questions with "Yah Mon"
44/ Tape the "invisible" Maitre D's envelope shut, giving you precious seconds to make a clean get-away.
45/ Tape can be used to temporarily cover the strobe lights in the disco, to make your experience more enjoyable. Remember to remove it when you leave. "Get your own darn duct tape!".
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Old November 11th, 2001, 03:06 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 292
Default Re: Duct Tape Uses on a Cruise

... and pay for your cruise by putting duct tape on the bottom of your drink glass and while sitting next to a 'high roller' in the casino, tapping their stack of $1000 chips with your glass 'for luck'.
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Old November 11th, 2001, 08:21 AM
Divetex & CruiseCam
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Default Re: Duct Tape Uses on a Cruise

Great, but where are the other 955 uses (counting Bumble Bees)?
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