The funniest story I have ever heard is a KUKI story!
The one where you are in a buffet line with your son, and there is a very rotund gentleman in front of you holding everybody up. All of the sudden the portly man's beeper starts to go "beep beep beep beep"
Well, there was the night crossing the Tasmin Sea when I figured the couple in the adjoining cabin was having one heck of a fight. We could hear drawers slamming for HOURS. Unable to sleep, I slammed a few back at them.
The next morning, we sallied forth and the next door neighbors -- two lovely ladies with whom I'd been playing bridge for the whole cruise but never knew they were next door --said, "Did you have the same problems with drawers as we did last night? It sounded like it."
Red-faced, I hung my head and just said, "Yes."
Then I called the Chief Engineer and got their problem solved.
There was also the time when a fellow took along a "lady friend" on a cruise we were hosting and he had the bad fortune to have a heart attack. The hospital called the Purser, the Purser called us because we had the emergency phone numbers. Imagine the shock of the emergency person (wife) who thought the husband was in Dallas on business. I don't know if that's funny or sad.
Maybe the worst was doing a totally sultry Macarena on Legend with our new friend Jaime. We were really putting the stuff on. OK, we were standing on chairs. Afterward, I chatted with people at her table and learned that one of the fellows was one of my dad's poker buddies from Nowhere, Iowa. I was quite glad that Dad had gone to the great poker game in the sky.
There are many more of these stories. They get collected over time.
But the absolute best ...
I was cruising on Diamond with my friend, Suzanne. We had left our husbands home to pizza and snow shovels. We were properly attired with our weddings rings, etc. Toward the end of the cruise a Navy guy (the kind who always wears the cap) who had probably had too much conversation with Captain Jack that night rolled up to me and said, "Hey. Are you and Blondie some kind of them Lee-Bee-Sians ?"
Nah, I said. We are aging hookers working the upscale cruise market.
pamda -- who finds something funny on almost every cruise.
I have some pretty funny moments, both on and off the cruise ship but for the board I'll stick to the cruise one and maybe tell some others on the "lei'd" cruise! On one of my early cruises (83 or 84) I'm walking along trying to look cool probably but at the same time gawking at some male and in the meantime did not notice a chair close to the pool, next thing I know suave me is dragging myself out of the pool, with many amused people watching. Did the best I could, I took a bow and walked on. Fortunately I wasn't hurt!
Another time, I was frantic trying to find my card to get back on the ship (at a time when they weren't as strict). I'm digging in my bag, going through pockets, it's nowhere in sight. By this time, my friend is looking rather amused and I'm mad at her for laughing, this isn't funny, do you think they'll remember and let me on??? Never mind I had a brand new hat on my head with ssNorway stamped on it and bright pink besides!!! Susan will be cruisin'
I've had to some thinking.. as there have been some very funny moments.
#1 was on a group cruise on RCI. The group had purchased a horse for the races, and were meeting in one of the lounges to decorate it. One of the group had sat down at a table located near the entrance. Then as other passengers happened to wander into the area, he told them it cost $1 for passage through this particular area. I believe he got $3, before one person said they had no money. No problem .. he took their sail & sign card. I was on the floor!
#2 when I convinced about 25 of my cruisemates to sing the theme song from Gilligans Island to Mrs Kuki in the dining room on formal night... a much too trusting crowd of friends.. who believed it was our annivesary and "our song".
#3 would have to be on a snorkeling excursion with Mrs. Kuki (who doesnt swim). There was a rope bordering the area we were supposed to stay within, and after awhile I saw Mrs. Kuki hanging on to this rope, with her face hidden by a life vest trying to float without her. A strap on the life vest had given way, and as the vest was doing what it was supposed to do, float to the top, it broke a neck strap on Mrs. Kuki's bathing suit.
With one hand she was holding the rope, and one hand was fighting with the vest. She had no hand to find the bathing suit now around her waist. I yelled to her from the boat. Let go off the rope, and try the breast stroke.
A group of us had purchased a horse on a western Caribbean cruise. We dressed it up, and one of the fellows in the group was the really "cool" jockey. He wore dark sun glasses and pretendet to smoke a "joint", while he gave the horses history to the cruise director, at the final race. The cruise director said that he would have to do a urine test on the horse, as we had just left Jamaica, and the horse and Jockey seemed to be under the influence. The CD pours some ginger ale into a glass from behind the horse, in order to get the sample. He anounced that he now had to test it and started to drink from the glass, when an elderly lady, sitting in front, yelled: "No, you can't drink that". We all had a good laugh at the poor ladies expense.
Happy Cruising, Ginnie