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Old March 1st, 2002, 09:19 AM
Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 36
Default OT....Martha Stewart vs Real Women

Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Martha's way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

The Real Women's Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Women's Way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's way #4: If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up."

The Real Women's Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too darn bad. Please recite with me: The Real Women's motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.

Martha's way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

The Real Women's Way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.

Martha's way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

The Real Women's Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't do it.

Martha's way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Women's Way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is because you are now BLIND!

Martha's way #9: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Women's Way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

And finally the most important tip ......

Martha's way #10: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

The Real Women's Way: Leftover wine?
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old March 1st, 2002, 09:38 AM
Mermaid's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,939
Default Re: OT....Martha Stewart vs Real Women


1. You own a self-cleaning oven, but you're more impressed with a self-cleaning man.

2. You think an egg beater is a new method of birth control.

3. You assume a measuring cup is used to determine breast size.

4. You think Martha Stewart's name should be changed to Martha Stupid because of all the time she wastes on creating the "perfect" everything.

5. You have all your local take-out restaurants on speed dial.

6. You think dust bunnies make adorable household pets.

7. You assume an egg timer has something to do with your biological clock.

8. You prefer reading the Joy of Sex instead of the Joy of Cooking.

9. All your Martha Stewart books are used to prop open doors and even wobbly tables.

10. The only dishwasher you want to touch is the one with the cute buns at the local bistro.
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old March 1st, 2002, 11:00 AM
Carole Bensley
Posts: n/a
Default Re: OT....Martha Stewart vs Real Women

These are great! Yeah, Martha wastes alot of time of things that i BET she doesn't do at home.
Couldn't you just smack her? lol
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old March 1st, 2002, 12:20 PM
Bobbie(Lady Jag)
Posts: n/a
Default Re: OT....Martha Stewart vs Real Women

Finally, the guilt of not being as perfect as Martha is lifted! That woman "bugs", big time. Wish I could cook half as well as she does. I would just love to see her sitting in a McDonald's drive-thru one of these days....
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Old March 1st, 2002, 01:20 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Orlando
Posts: 4,430
Send a message via AIM to Angela Z.
Default Re: OT....Martha Stewart vs Real Women

I am such a real woman!
Angela Z.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old March 1st, 2002, 06:11 PM
Mike Mastellar
Posts: n/a
Default Re: OT....Martha Stewart vs Real Women

I admire any woman who can take herself from a modest middle class backround and create a multi-billion dollar empire.

Anyone who tries to do everything that Martha shows in her shows and magazine is crazy. But there is great information that can help with everything from cooking, gardening to figuring out how to make a centerpiece.

The trick is taking the information you need and applying it.

Gee: If I did everything Bob Villa did I would live in a state of the art home with every tool in my garage. Instead I pay attention to things like how to install ceramic tile in my bathroom.

Take Care:
Monday Chat Host and thinks Martha is o.k.
(Sorry ML)
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